Sonja Foust

I'm doing 13 things

How I did it
How to be vegetarian for a month
It took me
30 days
It made me

How to buy an e-reader
It took me
30 days
It made me

How to see a roller derby
It took me
1 day
It made me

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Recent entries
stop gossiping for one month
A Gossip-Free Month

Ok, well, less gossipy than most months, let’s say. Because I certainly didn’t stop gossiping in May, like I’d planned. Oh, I tried. But I failed. I said a lot of things I wouldn’t say straight to someone’s face. But I was more careful about it, and I noticed when I was doing it.

And, you know what? Sometimes you have to say stuff behind someone’s back. It’s not always malicious. I’m still thinking on this, but I propose that the maliciousness is what makes it really gossip. Tell me if I’m wrong, though… Like I said, still working on that one.

In any case, some lessons learned:

1. Without gossip, I don’t have anything to say to some people. This is sad. Must become better conversationalist.

2. I’m not sure I’d have the guts to say some of the nice stuff I say about people to their faces– and I should probably work on that. People love to hear nice stuff about themselves, right? I don’t think I’m alone in this fear, though. A few years ago, I inadvertently walked in on one of my husband’s relatives talking about how smart I was (and not in a sarcastic way, thankyouverymuch, all you smartasses waiting to tell me she was kidding). When she realized I was behind the refrigerator door rummaging for fried chicken, she turned completely red and apologized up and down. I told her I wasn’t offended– after all, she was saying good things about me! But I get why she was embarrassed. I would have been, too. It’s weird, but true.

3. People actually trust you more when you’re unwilling to talk about other people with them. I knew this in my head, but it’s really true, people. Telling other people’s secrets will never get you anywhere you want to be.

So, what do you think? Do you forgive me for failing? How do you feel about gossip?


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