I'm doing 9 things
So last night the bf & i dropped a tab & had a gorgeous laughter-filled love-buzzed trippy WELOVEBEINGYOUNG&INLOVE night! We went to a party & a big walk & had a heap of fun together, totally left all our cares behind. It was FAB.. up until we got home & went to take a shower. Even though i have been working out more regularly & been being a bit better with my eating, i just felt yuk & kicked up a fuss. But this time i didn’t getaway with it – i got a major Buck Up Pep Talk (which lasted until 6am!) & realised just how much my body issues have been affecting my partner, not just myself – & how much damage it’s causing. He’s amazing & yes it hurt to be yelled at about something so deep & painful to myself but it was a wake up call that i have to change. I know i have a good body, i work at it & i’m genetically lucky, but yeah it can be better – but hating it & depriving my bf of physical contact ain’t gonna solve anything. I gotta nurture my body coz it’s the only one i got, use it &improve it!
SoulLaLaCrazyGurl's Life List
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1. Nurture my integrity - be honest and choose the best path in all aspects
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2. To live instead of exist
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3. stop the cycle of starving / binging --> HATING! Learn to enjoy food & balance
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4. go out more
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5. get my restricted license in a manual
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6. Find my own style
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7. STOP eating biscuits
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8. change my life
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9. Be comfortable in my body
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How I did it: Courage to face change is an unapplauded strength. I had to let go of my fears that my old boss would hate me, my family would think i was quitting because i couldn't commit rather than consciously choosing to seek a new path, and that i'd find no new job and end up break and unable to pay rent. But i looked! I put myself out there, took opportunity, and am now happily working for a temp agency where i get to choose my own hours, jobs and… Read how I did it…
i cannot continue to live my days controlled in this way. I refuse to. It brings me no joy or positivity, just anger and sadness and loss of hope. I quit. I do not need it. I need to be HAPPY and i have the power to do so. I know what it’ll take and i know at first it’ll be difficult. But it will lead me into my dreams. I quit today, i change right now, i stay strong tomorrow, i will get there soon.
I can do this.
Control, restriction, healthy living, pure and natural….those are all my focusses and goals, but i fall off the wago every time i’m around those damn biscuits! Who created them? Obviously some one who had never experienced the pain of bingeeating! They have ZERO nutritional value, are addictive (all that sugar and proccessed flour yuck) and it is impossible to just eat one! So i have decided to STOP eating biscuits full stop. First goal is to go one month without them. Woo hoo, heres to a diet of freedom! :)
