I am on Day 11 of a 14 day New York body plan. I am feeling so unbelievably weak right now. 2 hours of exercise, every single day, for 14 days.
It’s a little nuts, and I haven’t been perfect, but this is about the promises I keep to myself, about carving out the physicality I’ve dreamed about—not scary skinny, probably never ever really skinny (curvy is in my genes), but healthy and strong.
The other day I burst into tears when my trainer said, “Pain is weakness leaving the body.”
He was pushing me so hard, maybe too hard. I don’t know if I agree with his statement. So often over the last couple of tough years, pain has felt like weakness entering the body—in the form of grief, fear, sadness, envy, loneliness and what felt, what feels, at time, like hope without hope.
But I do think that the most important thing I’ve gained from the last 2 weeks is the awareness that, for the most part, when I see super fit people, they’ve worked, really, really hard for it.
I’ve broken some bad habits over the last 2 weeks. I’ve pushed myself so hard. Now I want to craft a fitness routine that’s firmly routed in joy—an easy, but consistent morning run, the pumping blood of a great spin class when the music is awesome, tennis with my husband (we both suck by equal measure) and the ever elusive quest of being a yoga babe.
Hopefully, this summer, fitness will feel like joy entering my body.
I'm doing 26 things
