SpecialJNess

I wouldn’t say that eatiner healthier has stuck, however…

it’s still a good idea to do it.

That’s right, I passed my junior-level religion class with a C. :)

Happiness.

Sometime over the summer I managed to grow my nails out AND stop scratching at my stomach and legs… They look SOOOO much better!

Happiness

I’m feeling awesome, and soon I’ll be down to where I wanted to be… 135… I’m at 140 give or take some clothes and big meals before the scale, but I’m totally looking forward to getting my schedule worked out so I can go to the gym and start doing the elliptical in the mornings before class or after class… then I’ll be at 135—where I was as a senior in HS after band camp, and I think that’ll make me happy for my height and all that jazz!

:)

One year and nine months was Sunday… I think that sometimes I stop telling my close friends how far I am because I don’t think they care, and sometimes so that if I started again, they wouldn’t think about/know the difference.

I don’t want to cut again. I don’t. I think I’m getting closer and closer to being “cured,” but at the same time, it feels like the closer I get to two years, the harder the struggle remains.

Chris and I were at Target the other day and went to the 75% off shoe rack… And there was a pair of nice black heels on the rack that actually fit me… so what did Chris do? Talk me into buying them… And that night we had a celebration Chinese dinner and I wore them and didn’t fall down… Now to wear them to my friends’ wedding on Saturday!

So, I have lost 10 lbs so fathat was in my last entry, but I didn’t say how…

So!

*150+ situps a day
*200+ jumping jacks a day
*Job that keeps you on your feet for like 8 hours moving around
*Not gorging on food… (Actually, I eat minimally, but it’s like a time thing, not necessarily to get skinny)

Also, I lift 15 lbs weights to give my arms that “I-wish-I-still-played-the-bass-drum” look. :)

It is really starting to show.
And I feel good.

So I stepped on the scale this past week realizing that I have lost ten pounds since my return from CMU. The goal was posted to lose the 15 pounds that I gained since my surgery/Christmas break this year, plus 5 so I could get back into the pants I wore in High School… I’m getting so much closer.
My back is really starting to thin out and tone up and it’s really making me happy. :)

Yay.

This picture is a good view of the work… minus the sunburn and the fact that you cannot see my awesome shoulders.

Apparently I’m allergic to metals! Now that I know that I can find pants that won’t kill my stomach! JOY!

Yea, I think I’m over the hair thing. It wasn’t cut from December to April and I think I kinda miss it. Also, everyone else has long hair now… including me…and it isn’t so bad…

I feel like last Tuesday night in church God really affirmed my heart on a few things… I CAN be happy! And I will! I haven’t stopped smiling since, and when I haven’t been, I’ve been going right to God with it, because He is the ONLY one that can fix my heart. :) I LOVE LEARNING!

Last night was the most fun I’ve had in a large group of people in a long time. It wasn’t awkward, it wasn’t sad… it was just the drama team, doing what we do best, which is laughing and SMILING!
I can’t say that I’ve beaten this goal yet, as there are still a couple stepping stones left in this goal, but I can see that the box may be checked soon! Ah, for the simplicity of laughter. Do you know that if you’re laughing, it’s near impossible not to be smiling as well? At least if it’s genuine.
My face hurt so bad from smiling yesterday… it was awesome.
I think I worry too much around people sometimes and that’s why I can’t smile. I get too keyed up, or easily upset. I don’t know, I guess I’ll have to look at this and then present a new, more smiling me, at the Superbowl Party on Sunday!
w00t!

I ran out after one of my roommates last night adter screaming at the other two…

...I’ve also now reconciled with everyone and became the friend that two other people didn’t want to/couldn’t be.

I haven’t had hair this long since I was in 6th grade and it’s really annoying to me. I cut some of it a couple weeks ago, and then wasn’t happy. I don’t know what else to do with it. I know it’s curly and stuff, but poofy, so just having it down to dry never works… Straightening it takes almost an hour now, and putting it up looks more and more kiddish, when I’m trying to grow up.
I am just getting like really frustrated with this goal because I would like to grow it out… (I’ve said for years how I’d like to have long hair again) but I don’t think I can make it because I’m honestly very tired of it. I don’t know if it’s worth it anymore… I mean, it is… a lot… I just, I dunno.

I’m working on it. The tempation is there, but I am very close to being rid of this “disease” this “darkness” this “pain.”

The 27th marks a year and two months.