It has been tough going. but I noticed I have a pattrn. It sems if I get past what a person do, and concentrate on who this person is, I’ll emember their name.
I will continually forgetting actos, singers, and other who’s who, because I concentrate on what they did, or done.
Well, I know it’s been awhile. The darkside of my fantasy has taken over. Since 1 week before Xmas, I’ve been dancing. On Dec 28th, Jacklyn found out I’ve continued, and our relationship has ended. On Dc 29th, I went to Ft Lauredale to celebrate New Years, but as usual alone (well, with family actually).
Anyways, enough depression, Januay 14th, I was on the runway again. Louise was showing me how to pole dance. I like her alot, just her drg habit keeps us from being close. Danielle told me that it’s like a prerequisite you do drugs. I myself, refuse to, although I’e been alienated by the others because they think I’m a snotty bitch now.
I will no cave in to this pessure, and I’ve thatened to leave. I hea Gossips is looking fo a nice 18 year old for heir gentlemens club. Then again, I detest lap dancing. Well, I haven’t topped $300 yet a night this year.
BTW: Thats one of Louises porn pics I found.
I talked with the owner, he wanted me to work tonight 8pm to closing. This is a big opportunity some girls collect as much as $500 in that slot (I’ll be happy with $300). Cross your fingers I do well. I’ll deal with the pricks in my own way.
With the Holidays approaching, and the harassment of patrons from he strip club, Ive decided to put the Runwy on hold. I didn’t know men could be so ersistent, horny, and creepy. Apparently someone let out some information on me. I hav ecievd cell phone calls, and some have braved coming to house, and stalking me. It’s hard enough to keep this a secret, and with the club owner constantly calling every other day, I’ve caved in a few times and did him a favor (3 nights so ar, and thy were shitty nights for tip). I’m now working minimum wage at a department store. All my shopping has been done (3 eeks ago of course). My synopsis is, walking the runway is not the wy to get into the porn biz. Meanwhile, I recieved 4 offers frm magazines. Teenz magazine wants a phto shoot on Jan 18th, I’ll eep you all informed.
Still waiting for a reply from the proofs I sent the magazines. Meanwhile, I’m broke, and desperate for cash.
So Thursday I talked to a friend I know about dancing at the topless bar she works at. Th owner gave me two dates Nov 11, 12, starting at 12:00 noon.
I worked both days(I was 45 minutes late Friday though). I made $116 friday, and $165 Saturday. All in all, it was kinda fun, but I hate lap dancing, as well as eing fondeled by old men (the “you remind my of my grandchild” shit is kind of fucked up to say to a dancer). Anyways, they want me to work tomorrow night, they said I will probably make alt more cash. I’m still thinking about it.
I seem to become a little better as the days go by. Yet the name seems not to be what I focus on. It’s liitle things like interet, dress, mannerisms I focus on. ut I still find myself ayig, “You know the guy that wears all those preppy sweaters”. Sometimes it helps, and I remember their names at the last minute.
Lets face it, I can remember lyrics, television shows, the entire 7 seasons of Star Trek, but I tend to forget names. I can remember faes, sometimes conversations, but if I don’t see you regularly, I draw a blank unless I remember what we discussed, or were doing, or where we met. So now its time to start remembering, i couldn’t wait for New Years i guess LOL.
Well ‘ve put this endeavor on the backburner. Apparently my education, is far more important.
I’ve sent several pictures into magazines (FOX, teenz, Hustler, club to name a few). All wrote, e-mailed, call, and pestered me back LOL. Netherless, they want the impossible, to give up school, and give my life to the business. Maybe I should think this out before I commit.
Since this afternoons confrontation of the images I sent to Gallery for the Girl Next Door contest, I wonder should I give it another try. Maybe a Amatuer mag. I’ll discuss it with Jaclyn, I think she would be supportive. Then again, she might not want to share me with the prison population LOL.
