Hubby’s coming home today
Hubby’s help with stuff regarding garage sale and upcoming move
Seeing Therapist with Hubby today
A going-away party
time with Hubby to plan, laugh, work, dream and build a new life
... is one of the roughest, most violently painful things I’ve ever gone through. Because the tooth was broken into pieces he had to push HARD and pull HARD. Then when he broke it off at the root, he had to get a little drill-saw thingy and cut what was left into pieces at the gumline. The he dug into my gum with something sharp to get out all the pieces. It took 40 minutes, but felt like about 2 hours to me.
Maybe I’m really a wimp, but it was terribly traumatic! I had nightmares about it, when I was even able to sleep.
my tooth is out
novacane
pain pills
time to heal
It’ll be better
grandson’s sillyness
how he tries to repeat words
how he loves to point to my nose
memories of snuggly, sweet times with him
ibuprofin for my toothache!
Grandson was in his high chair and Golden Doodle Dog was loose in the house; GD Dog kept barking and scaring grandson. So I put the baby spoon in the jar of carrots, left it on the table (which Grandson was scooted AWAY from) and scooped up G. D. to put him in his make-shift crate (about 9 steps away, but around two corners, if that makes sense).
2 seconds later, returning to the eat-in kitchen, as I was at the threshhold between there and the living room, I heard the babyfood jar hit the floor, and I got splattered with carrots as they sprayed up and out like a fountain!
It went EVERYWHERE! On the computer monitor, on the keyboard, on the computer chair, on walls (4 different ones, as a half wall and corner were involved), on my desk, on the two golden retrievers, on the tile floor, and on the the sofa (a good 12 or so feet away!), omigosh!
Luckily my own body blocked most of it from getting onto my just-cleaned carpet. One little dot of orange on the carpet was all – whew!
Well, I had to finish feeding the hungry baby before I could do any cleaning up. So I did that and admired the orange splatter everywhere, while my two good dogs cleaned the carrots off the floor for me (they’re helpful). I just kept laughing the whole time!
My 11-month-old Grandbaby is spending the night with me tonight! Can’t wait for him to get here!
My downstairs is very, very clean and baby-proofed.
I set up little “discoveries” for him to crawl around and find – a new ball, a huge tupper bowl with smaller tuppers and cups for nesting (he loves this), new books displayed on hearth within his reach, pile of pillows and cushions on which to climb, rollie-toys on tile, Teddy-bear in basket, etc.
Golden Doodle, who used to be his dog, will be restrained in the half-bath by a baby-gate, but reachable by Grandson to play with and pet.
Johnny Jump-Up thingy in doorway for him to ride in.
I distinctly remember a huge “Aha-Moment” when I thought, “It’s JUST pain. It can’t stop me.” It was a revelation to me to think that pain (or fear thereof) doesn’t HAVE TO have power over me. I can choose to do worthy things even if I hurt.
So much has happened since Hubby left that I normally wouldn’t even have to deal with, with him HERE.
Badly sprained my ankle, in a brace for weeks and weeks
national disaster of ice storms in region
Power outtage for a few days
period of no heat in house
lung infections put me out of commission
back went out
no air conditioning for a couple of weeks into June
NOW I’ve busted my freakin’ molar apart on a cherry pit! Can you believe it?
Here’s my point….
I’ve gotten through all the bad stuff before. I can get through this, too. I feel so much tougher and less in need of reassurrance than I used to. Something good has come out of all the bad!
house-breaking dog (mostly anyhow)
moving heavy things by myself
feeling a little better in general
coping with loneliness and knowing, “This, too, shall pass.”
not doing anything unhealthy while I live through this
repeated springtime ritual…
Me to Hubby, “Would you move the ficus tree outside?”
This year…
Me to Myself, “I’m moving that dang thing myself!”
I rolled it outside, mostly. Yet another thing I didn’t think I could do all by myself. Pat-pat-patting myself on the back, now.
I’m pretty excited.
He’s still working on getting answers for us, but I know everything will work out. I can’t wait to be with him.
been doing well on having a smoothie each day (4 days in a row) – I think I can feel an improvement in my joints from the flaxseeds already.
yardwork and housework have been my exercise lately
not eating or drinking beer when I’m home alone at night (every night)is the hardest thing. I’m trying to make my snacks healthier, like cherries, or yogurt. This is a toughie!
Need to do some cardio
Golden Doodle Dog is getting trained (no messes to clean up today!). Yay!
Strawberry Banana Smoothies are healthy, but taste really good!
Rearranging furniture always makes me feel good!
This is hard, but I’ll be glad I chose adventure (If I survive). :-)
I’m feeling so much more focused and clearer on what’s important. Talking to someone totally impartial can help SO MUCH to give perspective on things. Especially someone who is older, wiser, and very kind. I like my therapist a lot because she’s bold enough, and cares enough, to give me her oppinion. Her values seem similar to mine.
Some things I see more clearly now;
Staying or going – whichever I choose WILL be hard, just in different ways.
Staying hasn’t been good for me. I would have to change so much about my life to make it healthy and to move forward if I stayed here (be less isolated, more active, be happy somehow).
It’s ok to be inter-dependent on my husband. She compared what I’ve been going through, without him here, to a grieving process and reassured me that I’ve actually done very well, considering.
She told me I HAVE accomplished a lot (not just stagnated as I believed)and I should be PROUD.
She helped me to view my upcoming move as more of an adventure.
I don’t think this is resolved by any means. However, now I have some tools and a different POV to make sense of it all.
I’d noticed that he never goes in my bedroom where he sleeps, so I just shut the door last night to keep him in.
I made a “luxury crate” for him by opening the half bath door and putting up a baby gate. He’ll use it when I’m away (and he can’t be outside for weather reasons), and when I can’t keep ann eye on him. We’ll see how it works out.
He is a smart dog who keeps getting better. I still don’t want to keep him, though.
Make plans to GO SOMEWHERE to show off my makeover. I am so sick of this house!
Make an appointment to get a haircut!
Rinse the carpets with vinegar water
Clean tile with vinegar water
Rearrange some furniture
Take unwanted books to Used Book Store
Return carpet cleaner
Return movies Hubby rented (over Memorial Day Weekend – EEEEP!)
Return overdue library stuff
dye my hair
(and I hope Hubby) happy! I fixed my hair and face all pretty ….for the first time in forever, BTW! Then I took a bunch of pictures of myself and emailed them to him (G-rated, in case anyone wonders). Some of them were funny, some sweet, some downright goofy, and some loving. I wonder if he misses me as much as I do him.
which I cannot seem to get around to! It must not be very important if I’ve let it go this many days!
Today – I WILL do 4 things!
Clean carpets upstairs and down. DONE
Find and put up baby gate to start training G.D. Dog in half bath (gonna use that instead of a crate. I’m too cheap!). DONE
Give myself a makeover (dye hair, do nails, experiment with new make-up). DID ALL BUT THEDYEINGOF HAIR
Make plans to GO SOMEWHERE to show off my makeover. I am so sick of this house! GOING-AWAY PARTY NEXT THURSDAY EVENING
Possible 5th thing – Get a haircut!
