StuckInAMoment

I am not an assertive person. It is a quality or trait that I have always admired, and I find it difficult to master. I’m a people-pleaser to a fault I guess.

I need me some backbone.

Well, I have loved U2 for a long time. I cannot admit to being their biggest fan, but I would absolutely love to see them play live.

I remember seeing them on Saturday Night Live a few years ago, and they were performing Elevation. Oh my freakin’ god… they f#@^ing rock! I knew they’ve always rocked, but that was just… and Bono…the man makes me melt. Probably the only man on earth I would ever actually agree to marry. Oh f*#%.

Anyway, yeah, I would love to see U2 live in concert one day. That would be quite nice.

This is a biggy. My sexuality is my biggest passion as well as my biggest source of angst. I have had casual sexual relationship with men, which for the most part has been greatly unsatisfying. I don’t know if it is me not being assertive enough or them being selfish, but through my experiences I have learned I am definately a giver and I need a lover who is also a giver by nature. I have been told that men only give when they are in love; I think that that is bs and unfair, but there is nothing can I do about cultural attitudes concerning sex and love.

I love women, but have not had sex with a woman. I don’t think I could ever do it casually like I have with men. I’m pretty sure I would have to be emotionally involved with a woman to do that. And that would be nice. Not sure when or if this will ever happen, but if it does, my life would be a lot clearer, lol.

In either case, man or woman, s/he would need to be giving and openminded. I have yet to find this person, and as such, I am incredibly sexually frustrated, lol.

There is this belief that women do not want or need sex as much as men. That is bs. If our culture nutured and catered to female sexuality the way it constantly feeds male sexual desire (politically, socially, economically), trust that women would really roar for more.