Suzannagram

I have forgotten how to shop for these things. How many watts will I need? I have spent many years of my life plugged into machines with soft eject dual cassette decks. Now I have to explain to the 11-year-old the difference between wifi and hi-fi. And, I have to think about it.
High fidelity is when . .

A few years ago I was really into researching the ancestry of my family. I learned that my great- great- great-grandmother had knees so bad she had to ride around on a wooden “scooter” that her husband made for her. Since then, knee replacements seem to be a rite of passage for us. I’m too young for mine, so now I’m researching homeo-medicine for mein knee ist kaput.

Things that make a difference:
solid knee brace with hinges in the sides
pain relieving creams (odorless, please)
pain patches shaped for knee application
placing a pillow between my knees at night
(or sleeping on my stomach)
leg strengthening exercises
making the kids carry me around on a red velvet and gold platform, Cleopatra style

I will stop back here to make an entry as to the most effective and convenient of these options (I predict heavy eyeliner, exotic fruits, and cabana boys with carafes of red wine.)

Say I move to Italy, someplace by the sea, but someplace not too touristy. I could spend the afternoon on the tiled terrace reclining under the pink bougainvillaeas, which happen to be the exact color of the dress I wore to Eddie Iado’s grandmother’s 65th birthday party when I was just 17.

Maybe while I’m lounging, a Moroccan boy named Simo would bring me cheese and wine (and the Reese’s pieces I had sent from America). Simo would read to me then, the Tales of Joujouka. He would tell me the tale of the man who plowed his land with lions and became the Healer of Crazy Minds. I would imagine myself in a pale green caftan bringing my Crazy Mind to this farmer who would play music for me and I would suddenly think clear thoughts. For the first time. Ever, apparently.

Maybe instead of reading more books, I should just write one.