THIZZKID

I MET HER IN THE 11th GRADE IN BIOLOGY AT THE FIRST SITE I KNEW SHE MUST BE MINE..WEN I FIRST SAW HERR I SWORE SHE WAS OUT OF MY LEAGUE SHE WAS A D-BOYS GIRL A SHINER STUNTIN ON OTHER HOES LIKE IT WAS NUTIN NOT CARIN CUZ SHE NEW SHE WAS FLY..I KNEW IT TOO,I HAD TO HAVE HER SHE NEW I WAS A BEAST CUZ I WAS SMASHIN IN VALLEJO ON SUCKA NIGGAS LIKE IT WAS NUTIN…IT WAS A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN BUT WE STARTED OUT AS BESTFREINDS I KNEW I LOVED HER CUZ I DIDNT LET HER JUMP IN A REALATIONSHIP WITH ME CUZ I KNEW I WULD HURT HER AND I COULDNT LET IT HAPPEN ..BUT THREW EVERY BITCH I FUKED OR FUKED WIT SHE WAS THUR ULSETHAT WAS OUR LOVE WAS STEADY THROBBING AND WITH EACH PULSE WE GREW STRONGER IT WAS SUMTIN THAT MEANT SO MUCH BUT MY PRIDE WULDNT LET IT SHOW BUT U KNEW IT THE FORCE WAS STRONG WITH U AND ME AND FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR NOW UV’E BEEN THERE ON MY SIDE STANDIN TALL THRU THICK AND THIN FOR BETTER OR WORSE

MOST OF MY LIFE IV’E TRIED TO BE ALOT OF THINGS OR SHOULD I SAY ALOT OF PEOPLE THAT IM NOT BUT THE GOOD THING ABOUT ME IS I CAN PULL IT OFF FOR A TIME BUT THEBAD THING AOUT ME IS THAT IS OFTEN WAT BREAKS ME BEACAUSE I TRY SO HARD THAT I EVEN FOOL MYSELF INTO THINKING THATS WAT I AM..I HAVNT SEEN MYSELF IN THE MIRROR IN A LONG LONG TIME SEE I WERE THESE MASKS AND I BEEN WEARING THEM FOR SO LONG THAT WHEN I FINALLY DO TAKE ONE OFF IT JUST SHOWS ANOTHER AND I KNOW THAT SOUNDS WEIRD BUT ITS TRUE AND IT GETS SCARY BEACAUSE IV’E LOST TRACK OF WAT AND WHO I TRULY AM AND TO BE LOST FROM YOURSELF IS TRULY A DIFFICULT THING TO CULP WITH BUT I HAVE TOO DAILY..AND AT THE SLITEST SIGHT OF WEAKNESS I BALL UP INTO THIS LITTLE SHELL AND REJECT EVERYTHING I DNT WANT TO HEAR BUT KNOW IS THE TRUTH AND THAT MAKES ME ISOLATE MYSELF FROM THE WORLD AND STARTS MY SELF DEPRESSION STAGE WHICH I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF IN…I ALWAYS FIND MYSELF WANTING TO BE SOMETHING OTHER THAN MYSELF BEACAUSE I FEAR THAT IV’E BEEN RUNNING FROM MYSELF FOR SO LONG THAT WHEN I FIND ME I WONT KNOW HOW TO BE ME…..

FOR ME THIS IS WAY DIFFICULT CONSIDERIN SOMTIMES I WONT LEAVE MY HOUSE IF I FEEL UGLY OR DONT FEEL DREESED RIGHT TO ME THE WAY PEOPLE SEE ME IS THE WAY I TRY TO HOLD MYSELF, IF IM SOMEWERE LIKE A STORE OR SHOPPING OR ANYPLACE PUBLIC AND IM NOT 100% SHURR THAT IM PERFECT I START TOO WONDERING IF PEOPLE ARE STARING THEN I GET NERVOUS THEN I START SWEATING HELLA MUCH IT’S HECKA EMBARRISING CUZ THEN I HAVE TOO MAKE UP REASONS WHY I HAVE TO GO THEN I JUS LEAVE IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME IV’E ALMOST HAD FIGHTS CUZ I THINK PEOPLE ARE TALKIN ABOUT ME LIKE THE LITTLEST THING SAID TO ME AND I THINK ITS DISSRESPECTFUL THEN I FIGHT MY APPERENCE IS EVERTHING TOO ME…ALL I HAVE IN LIFE IS MY REP AND I WILL FIGHT TO KEEP IT…