Tahirah

alright well i’m pretty sure no one is worse off than me. i messed up my first year of college and stop attending class. first semester i had A’s and B’s for midterm and then I got freaked out when I didnt turn in an assignment and put it off until the next class. and then i ended up skipping the other classes to finish the other assignments and before i knew it i was knee-deep in incompleted projects/papers/hw/exams. i just stopped going to class. i skipped my finals cuz i knew it wouldnt help me. i ended up failing 4 classes and getting a 0.6 gpa. yeah i didn’t think it was possible either.

so i received an academic warning and then started spring semester, i stil ended up failing one class, same reason, i’m just lazy and unmotivated as hell. i got a 1.85 last semester bringing my cumalative gpa to a 1.16.

now what hurts the most is that i didnt even try. it’s not like i tried and then failed. i didn’t even TRY. not a tiny bit. and that’s retarded. you have no idea how much shame and disappointment i have toward myself. it wasn’t until one of my best friends, practically my brother, yelled at me and made me realize i needed to stop this self-sabatoge and get back on track.

i never did that well in high school, i managed to get a 3.1 or something but i’ve never liked school. I’ve always been lazy and I have trouble managing my time. I take superb notes when and if i go to class, and never look at them again. i never study. i hate doing homework and assignments. i dont know what the disconnect is. i know why i did so poorly, but improving myself is a whole another thing.

at my university, if you retake a class it overwrites the previous grade. so i dished out $800 and retook one of my classes. i just looked at my grades this morning and i got an A. that brings my gpa to a 1.57. so it’s improved by a 0.6 to 1.16 to 1.57. im retaking 3 classes plus a another gen ed requirement next fall semester and i’m going to get a 4.0 even if it kills me. i have a cabinet position in one the most active oraganizations on campus and i working 24 hours a week. i don’t know how im gonna do it. but i have no other choice. i’m starting to get back on the right track and improve bit by bit. so for all of you that think you’re stuck in a rut, i’ve been to the bottom and im getting out. slowly. but im getting out. good luck everyone