TerryP

and may never really be.

I don’T know anything about her life since December, so 7 months ago. How can I still love someone who hurt me so much, who was so bad to me in the last months of our relationship and who I have no news of since the last 7 months?

It would have baan a year yesterday that we would have been married had she not cancelled at the last minute.

I think I’m getting really good at this. First of, being a leader isn’T always being the one who speaks and carries the tem, but often can be about being the one helping the team getting the job done by showing example.
I’ve worked a lot on my leading skills in the past few months and I think I’ll cross this as “done” real soon.

I really thought I was done with this, I was not thinking about her, I was feeling good about being alone, I was generally and genuinely happy, but I am in a relapse it seems. In the last couple of days, I’ve been thinking about her because it’s been one year 2 days ago since she moved out. One year already. She hurt me so much, yet I can’t forget how much I was happy with her and how cruel she was when she let me. Do I stille love her? Yes, I know I do, but I also know that the anniversary is the reason why it’s tough these days. There are other tough anniversary, as in 8 days, it would have been our first wedding anniversary, had she not cancel everything at the last minute.
I’ve been alone ever sine, waiting in vain her return, thinking about how she did me wrong and being incapable of hating her…
I wish I was able to just stop loving her, but it will be tough, I knew the first day that I was with her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her, I waited 18 months to ask her hand and still to this day, I would do the unthinkable and accept her back after the way she mistreated me.
I’m pathetic.