I'm doing 35 things
She’s so caught up with her current love interest I can’t even have a friendly chat with her unless she’s driving somewhere, and of course that means it’s a fight to even hear her clearly, and all she talks about is him anyway. I can understand the excitement, I can put jealousy aside, but I at least want her as a decent friend, and right now I can’t even have that.
The Angel of Venice's Life List
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1. *things I feel ready to do*
7 cheers1 person -
2. romance the right one
9 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
3. maintain my repertoire on all my instruments
1 entry . 10 cheers1 person -
4. stretch and have some water before I start playing the guitar
2 entries . 6 cheers1 person -
5. experience more creativity - guttural, messy, gasping, bright, big, relentless, soul-quenching vulnerability that confirms I am alive and acceptable as I am
1 entry . 14 cheers1 person -
6. play air hockey, foozball (or however you spell the infernal thing), and all these other stupid but harmless and entertaining things that most guys seem to know how to do
3 cheers1 person -
7. play pool
8 cheers43 people -
8. bowl
1 cheer8 people -
9. work just about 35 hours a week - enough vocational binging and purging!
9 entries . 2 cheers1 person -
10. see Pearl Jam live
51 people -
11. help my friend make her video
1 entry . 1 cheer1 person -
12. *music-related action items I don't really feel ready to do yet*
1 person -
13. compose something new or spruce up something old that I wrote
3 cheers1 person -
14. learn another Beatles song
11 cheers1 person -
15. practice stuff for my next recording
2 cheers1 person -
16. learn another Hawaiian chant
3 cheers1 person -
17. review the Yankadi-Makru rhythm
1 cheer1 person -
18. practice Tuvan throat singing
4 cheers1 person -
19. *music-related goals*
1 cheer1 person -
20. surprise my audience with a very pretty, dramatic rendition of an utterly ridiculous song
3 cheers1 person -
21. get a digital mixing board
3 cheers1 person -
22. always be ready to record something
3 cheers1 person -
23. get a wireless vocal microphone mounted on some kind of headset
3 cheers1 person -
24. *guy stuff*
1 entry1 person -
25. play darts
1 cheer4 people -
26. *oddball stuff*
1 cheer1 person -
27. make lavender cheesecake
5 cheers1 person -
28. make a raw dessert with cocoa nibs
1 cheer1 person -
29. ride a recumbent bicycle
3 cheers1 person -
30. explore my city
2 entries . 17 cheers76 people -
31. go back to Hawai'i
3 entries . 5 cheers152 people -
32. get a personal oxygen bar
4 cheers1 person -
33. get rolfed
1 entry . 3 cheers20 people -
34. keep bees (or at least feel like I could if I wanted to)
3 entries . 3 cheers1 person -
35. dream home goals...
1 entry . 2 cheers1 person
How I did it
It made me
glad. 
How I did it: We got together, sat him down in the yard, pulled out the electric razor, and voila! Zee shaved head magnifique! Read how I did it…
It made me
foppish.
How I did it: I gave into one fashion whim after another. First I started dressing differently on stage, then I started showing up at parties wearing different clothing and jewelry, and suddenly I find that I have a constant eye toward fun new twists I could put in my wardrobe. I really don't even care what they think at the office anymore. Read how I did it…
It made me
disappointed. 
How I did it: I started doing this with a friend of mine some time back just to be supportive to her but this isn't really a match for me; I asked if she'd mind if I dropped it just to pursue other things with that little bit of energy and time and she said that's fine; we do a lot together anyway and she can just keep doing it herself.Some of the questions posed were sort of interesting but there was just nothing to do that worked for me at other time… Read how I did it…
See all "How I Did It" stories...
Recent entries
She changed partners again.
1 week ago
Now she’s dating somebody different.
Somebody an awful lot like me. Creative, odd, extremely expressive, spiritual, and eager to celebrate her at every conceivable turn.
Frankly, though, I know this relationship isn’t going to work either. His situation is eventually going to turn her off. She wants more attention than he’s going to give her long-term…but it will take her at least a few weeks to notice that and decide she’s not willing to put up with it. Then she’ll be heartbroken and aching, and then she’ll start looking for someone again because she hates being alone.
If I can catch her in that little tiny space of time where I’m neither Rebound Man nor The Creep that Bothers Her When She’s in a New Relationship, I will make my move.
She’s dating someone else again, which makes conversations a bit tricky, especially when she decides to look into my love life (or lack thereof since she’s taken at the moment). What I said in response to her questions and comments…
No, I’m not dating anyone right now.
No, I’m not looking.
No, I don’t want to look.
No, I don’t have a self-esteem problem.
No, I’m not gay.
No, I’ve never been interested in other men.
No, none of that is it.
What I wanted to say was another matter…
No, I’m not dating anyone, and unless you’re about to tell me your boyfriend is now an ex-boyfriend, I wish you wouldn’t go any further on this line of questioning.
No, I’m not trying to find anyone to date. I’ve found you. You’re busy. I’ll wait.
No, I don’t want to try to find anyone to date. I’ve found you. There’s just been no good time to make a move because your life is so crazy and I don’t want to hurt you by making the wrong move at the wrong time.
You don’t need to pity me. I’m happier alone and hoping for you than you are dating one guy after another. This is real love that I feel. Even from a distance it’s much better than an empty dating relationship that goes on for a few weeks and then leaves you upset and desperate for another high. I’d rather have this 10-minute phone call as friends than any date I’ve ever been on.
No, I don’t have a self-esteem problem. You were just telling me that YOU have a self-esteem problem, which I already knew. That’s why you keep dating a new guy every few weeks. You love yourself enough now to realize relatively quickly that you deserve better than the kind of rubbish they give you. The trick now is to love yourself enough to recognize who’s going to treat you well. Hint: I’ve known you for how many years now, and how many times have I said a harsh word to you, even when you were careless toward me? None. How many times have I remembered your birthday, gone to your shows, called you just to say hello, asked what I can pray for on your behalf? Hundreds.
No, I’m not gay – you know that, for pity’s sake. You always complain that people mistake you for a lesbian – how do you think I feel with you asking me after all these years if I’m gay? I’m waiting for you. That’s why you never see me with other women. You’re the only one I want to see or be seen with.
