TheBargainQueen

All I know is that I was conceived in late 1977 or early 1978, most likely in Melbourne, Australia. My mother’s name is Margaret Annette Owen and she was almost 40 at the time, but she passes herself off as younger.

I thought I knew who my father was (a prominent musician) and desperately wanted to get to know him. I finally did get to spend more time with him a few years ago and he’s a wonderful man.

Then I asked that we formalize things by having my birth certificate changed; it currently says ‘PATERNTIY NOT ACKNOWLEDGED’. He told me that he wasn’t sure he was my father and asked that we get a DNA test first. I thought he was lying about it and said some things I now regret.

When the test results came back I was absolutely stunned: turns out, he isn’t my father at all. My not-mother (she disowned me a few years ago) won’t tell me anything about my real father. She insists that she remembers literally nothing about him: not his name, what he looked like, where she met him, what he wore…

Whatever the big secret is, my not-mother will do literally anything to keep it. She started by threatening to make a scene at my sister’s wedding, so my sister dis-invited me even though I was supposed to be one of her bridesmaids!

So right after losing my father, my step-mother (his wife) and my five half-brothers because it turns out I’m not related to them at all, my sister then turned on me as well. Er, half-sister. We don’t look at all alike so I guess we probably have different fathers.

The only bright side to this is that a couple I’ve known since I was tiny have ‘adopted’ me, so I do have some family again now. Plus my husband’s family are great.

In general I’d rather have family I’m not biologically related to who are decent people, so good riddance to not-mother and not-half-sister… but I would like to know who my father is.

What’s my family medical history?

Who am I related to?
(Thankfully I can mostly rule out being biologically related to my husband, except maybe as distant cousins)

Where is my father from?
(Am I entitled to a passport for some amazing place and don’t even know it?)

What is he like? What part of my looks and personality did I get from him?

I really hope I find out one day…

...and it only took three days of solid work. Hmmm.

I’ve been writing a blog called The Bargain Queen since February this year and it’s going really well. My tips for anyone who’s starting out:

1. Start already! You don’t have to know exactly what you’re doing before you start because you learn so much as you go along.

2. Pick a topic. It doesn’t have to be something other people are writing about—in fact, it’s better if it’s not! Anything you enjoy writing about is great.

3. Give yourself some space. Don’t be too strict about what you have to write about, especially when you’re starting out. You might post something ‘off topic’ and find that’s what you really want to write about.

4. Stick with it. You only get good with practise, so don’t give up if your first attempts suck.