TheGreenKnight

I know that’s not going to happen. I can’t make someone love me. I just have to be me and if being me causes someone to fall in love with me, well, there you go.
But…
I WANT it to happen!
I have to think about this some more. I especially have to think about WHY I want it to happen. If it did happen, what would change in my life? They say if you love someone, then you care about their happiness more than you do your own. But what if you make someone happy by leaving them alone and keeping out of their life?
This I do have to think about.

She smells wonderful. She says she’s a vegan. I didn’t know what that was, but it means she eats no animal products at all. Only plant foods. Maybe there’s a connection. But her skin smells like fresh apples and lemons. She has almost no body hair. Her skin is a milky white with pinkish tinges, like strawberries in cream. Her hair is silky blonde. Her eyes are blue, blue, blue. Her body is… Oh, yes, it is.

After I was done, I didn’t want to withdraw. I just wanted to stay there like that and feel myself in her, feel her breathing on my face when I kissed her…her lips, her cheeks, her ears, her eyelids, her hair.

I think the unrealized desire was what was driving me crazy. The reality was very good. I mean VERY good. But it was reality. Still, I think about her far more than I should.

I need to save up so I can do it again.

Saturday night and I am obsessing over her. I talk to her and talk to her and talk to her, knowing that nothing will come of it, ever. Knowing that to her I am just a, well…I can’t bring myself to say it.
Why can’t it be other than the way it is?