ThePumpkinKing

when i was 16 i found a valley
it had baby blue skies and
red magnolias flowers
as far as the eye could see
and a lonesome willow tree
from which a tire hung
and a body swung
filled with dreams and washed out pains
faded colors never looks so sane
and i laughed and i cried at valleys so blue
tall grass vacillated
and i laid there
under tectonic plates of emotion
a joyous clamoring commotion

one of the main things that keeps me going is that one day i’ll be a father, years from now….but still one day. and i’ll have my children to raise. and i can help then as the want to die and tell my self in the end it was all worth it. the future is something to look froward to. if you look at it at the right angle.

The girl i’ve liked just found someone that make her smile. he’s a pretty nice guy. i was talking to one of my friends about this, and he asked me “how are you doing?” i laughed and said “wonderful.” and i meant it. if you could only see her face. i haven’t seen her smile like that in so long. i dont know if i should angry or jealous, or what ever the “normal reaction” should be, but i’m not. if you could hear her nervous giggles and deep hopeful breaths, if you could see how she told of him and how she longed to be with him…. girls are a funny thing. she’s happy at the moment, and i think that’s all i really want. her to feel rapture. and if i’m not the one who is the root of her smile then so be it….right? i hope these are my real feelings and i’m not in denial. let us life our lives, and feel no bd things, for sorrow, pain, hurt, “bad,” theses are all simple perspectives. you can look at all that is wrong and feel terrible, or i can look at it as just another crush. really my only consequential infatuation. but i’m in high school, and there will be so much more to come. God will it. and if i were to die tomorrow, and knew i could…i have to end this and do something. thank you all. for the courage.