I can’t stand the fact that I can’t stand myself. I can’t even go outside in public without feeling extremely uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk to people because I’m afraid they’ll judge me or make fun of me. I’m so anti-social and don’t have any friends because I don’t want anybody to see me… I’m afraid that if I do make friends that I’ll end up lying to them just so that they’ll like me. I just don’t know how to change this. =/ I was homeschooled for over 7 years and never really had a lot of contact with people after that. I’ve even been having anxiety attacks lately… I feel like a complete freak. Ugh!!!
Jack's Life List
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1. lose 10 pounds
5,927 people -
2. scream at the top of my lungs
100 people -
3. be good at photography
15 people -
4. learn how to draw
245 people -
5. always stay true to myself
8 people -
6. get out of the house more
171 people -
7. gain more confidence
1 entry88 people -
8. write a song
4,192 people -
9. learn how to drive
1 cheer886 people -
10. never, EVER grow up
795 people -
11. start a rock band
1 cheer152 people -
12. stop being so shy
535 people -
13. be happy with my gender
2 people -
14. have inner strength
3 people -
15. stay single
1 cheer71 people -
16. become a big muscle man
2 people -
17. Catch 'em all
1 cheer18 people -
18. make peace with the past
53 people -
19. not be afraid of life
9 people -
20. exercise daily
1,958 people -
21. Take self defense classes
15 people -
22. Go To Germany
507 people -
23. Go To Puerto Rico
101 people -
24. Get a dog from the pound
1 cheer4 people -
25. become a fashion designer
1 entry . 1 cheer651 people -
26. learn how to play guitar
644 people -
27. feel freedom
1 entry3 people -
28. Get over my fear of people
74 people -
29. Learn German
4,525 people -
30. Learn Spanish
15,452 people -
31. Learn Japanese
1 entry9,721 people -
32. get a meaningful tattoo
411 people -
33. get piercings
76 people -
34. Go to an AFI concert
24 people -
35. Beat all those stupid games I never finished
1 entry2 people -
36. Take singing lessons
808 people -
37. Learn how to breakdance
1 cheer137 people -
38. Go on a shopping spree
247 people -
39. open my mind to new things
1 cheer2 people -
40. get over my depression
2 cheers80 people -
41. meet one of my idols
11 people -
42. Go to a Dir en grey concert
11 people -
43. Go to Japan
3,327 people
Recent entries
I have such low self-esteem...
2 years ago
-tear-
2 years ago
This will never happen, obviously. haha Oh well, if it is to happen then it will. But until then, my friend. I give up!
It's been 107 days...
2 years ago
Since I ate meat!! I’m so happy. It was the best thing I’ve done for myself. Lost 5 pounds from it too. =D It’s just so much healthier and makes me feel good knowing I’m not consuming the flesh of a once life filled creature. I thought it was going to be hard when I started but it was really easy. I had the support of my sister who is also vegetarian which definitely helped. If you are struggling just surround yourself with people who are supportive of your choices. It makes a big difference!
