I can’t stand the fact that I can’t stand myself. I can’t even go outside in public without feeling extremely uncomfortable. I don’t want to talk to people because I’m afraid they’ll judge me or make fun of me. I’m so anti-social and don’t have any friends because I don’t want anybody to see me… I’m afraid that if I do make friends that I’ll end up lying to them just so that they’ll like me. I just don’t know how to change this. =/ I was homeschooled for over 7 years and never really had a lot of contact with people after that. I’ve even been having anxiety attacks lately… I feel like a complete freak. Ugh!!!
Jack's Life List
-
1. Go to Japan
3,189 people -
2. Learn Japanese
1 entry9,422 people -
3. Learn Spanish
14,878 people -
4. Learn German
4,341 people -
5. Get over my fear of people
70 people -
6. feel freedom
1 entry3 people -
7. learn how to play guitar
624 people -
8. become a fashion designer
1 entry . 1 cheer647 people -
9. Get a dog from the pound
2 cheers4 people -
10. get a meaningful tattoo
394 people -
11. get piercings
72 people -
12. Go to an AFI concert
24 people -
13. Go to a Dir en grey concert
12 people -
14. meet one of my idols
7 people -
15. get over my depression
2 cheers78 people -
16. open my mind to new things
1 cheer2 people -
17. Go on a shopping spree
245 people -
18. Learn how to breakdance
1 cheer134 people -
19. Take singing lessons
773 people -
20. Beat all those stupid games I never finished
1 entry2 people -
21. Go To Puerto Rico
98 people -
22. Go To Germany
490 people -
23. Take self defense classes
14 people -
24. learn how to drive
1 cheer854 people -
25. write a song
4,035 people -
26. gain more confidence
1 entry87 people -
27. get out of the house more
166 people -
28. always stay true to myself
7 people -
29. learn how to draw
236 people -
30. be good at photography
14 people -
31. scream at the top of my lungs
102 people -
32. never, EVER grow up
793 people -
33. start a rock band
1 cheer148 people -
34. stop being so shy
519 people -
35. exercise daily
1,889 people -
36. not be afraid of life
10 people -
37. make peace with the past
52 people -
38. Catch 'em all
1 cheer17 people -
39. become a big muscle man
2 people -
40. stay single
1 cheer72 people -
41. have inner strength
3 people -
42. be happy with my gender
2 people -
43. lose 10 pounds
5,843 people
Recent entries
I have such low self-esteem...
1 year ago
-tear-
1 year ago
This will never happen, obviously. haha Oh well, if it is to happen then it will. But until then, my friend. I give up!
It's been 107 days...
1 year ago
Since I ate meat!! I’m so happy. It was the best thing I’ve done for myself. Lost 5 pounds from it too. =D It’s just so much healthier and makes me feel good knowing I’m not consuming the flesh of a once life filled creature. I thought it was going to be hard when I started but it was really easy. I had the support of my sister who is also vegetarian which definitely helped. If you are struggling just surround yourself with people who are supportive of your choices. It makes a big difference!
