seeking~serenity

I’ve always wanted to donate blood but for whatever reason, it tends to slip my mind. I feel bad for that and want to add this to make sure I progress and spend some time to save lives! I should’ve been donating from the time I could, since I’m a Universal Donor: O negative. I always thought I was O positive (my mom, as well) until I became pregnant and was told I was O negative and therefore needed a RhoGAM shot for Rh negative blood. _{I would’ve never agreed to that shot if I knew what I know now} I hope to get to Red Cross very soon and become a regular donator! :)

I won’t be able to complete this in the very near future so it’s going to be given-up for now. I hope to go to a concert with my boyfriend once he gets back home sometime…and when I can find a sitter for my son.

anytime soon, unfortunately.

The household car is not in the best of condition to be driving all over the place right now so I’ll have to wait until there’s a better vehichle to practice with…and that won’t be right now so I’m going to give-up on this goal and re-open later. :( so sad but needing to clean out a bit.

Maybe I’ll re-open this after I add AND complete the goal of FIND A SITTER!!!

To be continued…

Time to give-up on it for the time being and re-open it when I’m more able to really dive into this hopeful hobby.

bye-bye for now, goal.

“I love people. I love my family, my children . . . but inside myself is a place where I live all alone and that’s where you renew your springs that never dry up.” ~Pearl S. Buck

I’ve had this quote on the home screen of my phone all day. Everytime I read it, it makes me realize how much time I’m not spending with myself and that I need to do so more often. I need to renew the springs that flow within me so I may feel my very best, so that I can then give my very best to the special people around me, who really deserve it. <3

I plan on really working on this goal. My son will be away for about four hours a day so that’ll be my time to get things accomplished that I otherwise would have a difficult time doing. There’s so many things I need to do and have no energy to do them, though. One thing has has given me a shot of super-awesomeness today is the fact that I now have a bed! Yes! Finally I can get this damn hide-a-bed wannabe in the basement and start working on turning my bedroom into a peaceful space (whoozhaa). It’ll be nice to have my room put together, nicely. I first need to start with the de-cluttering process throughout every room before I really think about really putting my room together. I have A.D.H.D. so that saga could take quite some time, as I’m pretty disorganized and distractable when I’m cleaning. I hope to start a little in the kitchen and living room tonight and work on my bedroom this coming week. Woohoo!

I do believe this was the greatest C25K day yet!

I was just leaving my property, when my son _{who was playing outside and saw me leaving} said, “Mommy, I wanna go with you!” At first, I really didn’t want him going. That roughly 25-minute stretch of time is all I have to myself during the day and I look forward to the peaceful quiet of being away. I told him no but he didn’t listen. He kept following me and I didn’t have the time or will power to fight with him. So I said, “Okay, you can come but you have to do the whole way…no stopping…no whining.” He said, “Okay, I won’t mess you up. I’ll do the same thing you do.”

He was in his shorts, T-shirt and sandals. I was kinda irritated in the moment so I didn’t think to change his clothes. I just wanted to go and get back so his gramma could go to sleep. Halfway down the street he says, “My shoes are starting to hurt my heels.” Perplexed as to how I was going to fix that, I said, “Well, take ‘em off and run barefoot.” He said, “What?! Are you crazy?!” _{that was pretty funny} I told him that I used to always run without shoes on and he’d be fine. So, on we went. A couple minutes later…”I’m hot and my shirt is starting to itch me.” “Take it off then”, I said. I never really let him take his shirt off so he was thoroughly surprised and happy. Again, on we went.

I couldn’t help but wonder what passersby were thinking, watching this barefoot, shirtless kiddo running next to this woman all geared-up for the running…”WTF’s wrong with this mom?! She can give herself the proper attire but makes her kid run like that?” Lol. It was a funny thought that kept floating around my head. I kept asking him how he was doing and letting him know he can walk whenever. Luckily, there wasn’t a 20-minute run today.

I wasn’t sure if he’d make it but…
HE MADE IT ALLLLL THE WAY (2 miles)!!!!
I am so very, very proud of him!
He wants to go again tomorrow!
This just might be the start of…
something wonderful!
:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

A few nights ago, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. We’ve both been dealing with high stress levels (him-Army B.S., me-Mommy B.S.), and it’s just been a rough few months. Forboth of us.

I wasn’t in the greatest mood and he could tell. While I was talking to him, we got into one of those I-had-to-sit-down-wherever-I’m-at-to-hang-on-every-word conversations and he let me know that I’m not alone in my struggles; that he is always there for me; that I can always come to him with anything and he’d help me in any way he can “I’ve got your back, no matter what” he said. He was so caring. I could actually feel the emotion in his words. He amazes me everyday.

My heart melted in that moment. My eyes welled up with sweet tears. His words had me speechless, feeling much lighter, with a joyful smile that managed to escape from the darkness. He’s certainly got a way with me.

He wants nothing but good things for us and the future.
I can’t see how any of this isn’t normal. When he gets his ohsohandsome, sweet self back home, I’ll be ready to further work on this solid foundation we’ve built thus far so it can transform into a beautiful piece of incredible art work!

I’m really looking forward to crossing this off my list!!!

My body, although it seemed to be changing, is the same as it was on February 25th (almost FOUR months ago!). This makes me extrememly sad, as I have been working out and eating just fine 97% of the time. I have my one “cheat” day a week, but that wouldn’t impede on my weight-loss progress.

There has to be something wrong with me! I’m just starting my sixth week of the Couch to 5K running plan and I’ve been doing the two-hundred sit-ups challenge, as well. I don’t eat after 7pm. I drink water all day. And I actually cook my meals. Nothing has changed in four months! I swear my clothes are fitting better but it must be just my imagination. @.c

I’ve done some research on the HCG Diet Program and my mom and I are both quite interested http://www.hcgdiet.com/product.html It’s really intriguing and it’s been featured on the Dr. Oz Show…I’d trust him with my health anyday! He’s amazing!

My supply would only be about $80 compared to my mom’s supply at $250 (I think that’s right). So she had the idea to get mine first to see if it would show the results being raved about everywhere, before she orders her supply. We shall see what happens. This weight saga is ridiculous! I could probably starve myself and I’d end up obese. Ack! How frustrating! What’s the point of working out if nothing’s changing? Yes, I’m keeping healthy, internally (I hope), but it’s not helping anywhere else!

I’m never without a Best Friend with God in my heart.
I’m grateful for the bond we share. He loves me very much!
He listens to me and helps me at every turn on this road of life.
He’s never lied to me, taken me for granted, or walked away from me.
He’s my everything and I love him with everything I’ve got!
Thank you, God, for being my Greatest Bestest Friend!
And thank you for ALWAYS being there for my loved ones and I!

Today has been a wondertastic day for this goal! I’m very excited for the positives that have come from the day. Not only has my son been approved for summer transport to day treatment, but the Supervisor of the lady who did his psychological evaluation called me a bit ago and said the final copy is finally done…over two freaking weeks later (but I’m not complaining). She said it should be sent out tomorrow so I can share the report with all the doctors that have been waiting for it. Yes!!!

Phew. Good day. :)

Well, actually it should be 41…I told my boyfriend last night of the cheer function here on 43T and told him I had 39 cheers. He said, “I’m your 40th cheer!” Awe, so sweet. Maybe one day I’ll let him in on my list but not anytime soon.

Thank you to everyone for cheering me on this goal!!!! You guys rock!!!! Everytime I log in, I’m reminded of my educational intentions. I’ve been meaning to complete this since 2006.
Needless to say, I’m a golden procrastinator. I really hope I’m ready before my time’s up on this goal. I’d hate to stay away from 43 for a full week. Gasp.

someone who has never been a parent comments on how an actual parent raises their child(ren) to them. Okay, it’s one thing to have your opinions and think or feel a certain way but I find it way out of line for someone who has never been-there-done-that to try to speak their mind to someone who is there and is doing it. I have no respect for these people. I find them extremely rude. Yes, I can understand the debate that they may be attempting to “help” but that just doesn’t cut it.

In my last relationship, my then bf thought he knew how to raise kids because he coached volleyball and softabll and worked in a camp and had five brothers and sisters ect…but in reality…you don’t truly know anything about parenting until that growing human being is in your care 100% of the time and you want to scream for someone to come rescue you because you feel like ripping your hair out! At times, that is.

I’ve never taken kindly to strangers bravely commenting their thoughts of “maybe you shouldn’t say that” “when I was a child…” “I work with kids. Try this” “you know, I read somewhere that…” to me. My comment back now is: “You want to take care of him? Go for it.” That usually shuts them up! Okay, I have to stop ranting now…sorry post randomly 43ers. Hm, this could almost go along with my IDIOTS goal, as well.

Whooozhaaaa…

It’s just barely 10am and I’ve decided it to already be a solid 10(!!!) over on the Morale-O-Meter today…the first 10 in some time!!!

What has happened that’s so awesomely awesome that the day deserves a 10?
......
By the grace of God, and the skilled work of someone, somewhere, my son has been approved for transportation throughout the summer to attend the day treatment program I’ve been trying to get transport for that I hope will be a perfect fit for his needs.

I don’t know how it went through, but it did! Aand I’m so very, very grateful! I spent over an hour yesterday, speaking with the insurance reps and the lady over at the county and I didn’t get anywhere. I felt like there was nothing that could be done and the spot the program was holding was going to be given away. I felt pretty crappy last night and didn’t even sleep because of it.

So, imagine my extreme, giddy joyousness when I get a call a little bit ago from Paul (no idea who he is but he made my day) who started out by saying, “Hi, this is Paul from {day treatment center’s name}, calling to let you know that your child is scheduled to be picked-up by Airport Taxi at 7:15am…” _GASP I’m writing the information down in shock as to what he’s saying and how it is he’s able to say it. I finally stopped him and what happened. He just does the summer schedule so he didn’t know, and transferred me to the head lady (she’s super-great). She answered with “so any progress with finding transportation through insurance?” _{I was soooo confused!} I told her what Paul said and she had to go find out what happened. She said she’d call me right back.

Well, she called back about ten minutes later and said she wasn’t sure how it went through but he’s been approved for transport and he’ll be starting this coming Monday (June 20th)! She says, “I don’t know how but let’s just go with it!”

I have been praying that this works out somehow, someway…maybe somebody else out there has been, as well. Thank GOD! And thank you to everyone who has cheered this goal and any of these lengthy posts! It means so much to me to know there’s wonderful, caring people out there that are thinking of us, wishing us well and just wanting the best to work out. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I’m so thrilled this morning! I really hope this is a good program and my son gets a lot out of it! He’s so excited to ride in a taxi for about 20 miles one-way, by himself…he gets 40 miles all by himself, 5 days a week. He’s a happy boy…hopefully it lasts.

((big sigh of relief))
Ah, I’m actually able to think a positive thought!
Yay! C=
This is awesome!

It’s 3:30 am (guess my goal of get more sleep is feeling very sad right now, lol) and I figured I’d finish out my fourth week by completing the Exhaustion Test to see which column I’m headed for in week 6.

I was able to do 115 counts, comfortably. I know I could’ve done more but I wanted to do as many as I could, without a struggle. So, 115 lands me in column three (60 or more consecutives on exhaustion test). Coolio!

I’m looking forward to the end of week six when I can take the Final Test and be able to finally mark this darn goal as DONE! It’s been on my list for far too long!

Onward to week 5, yahoooo…

“Do not be too squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little course, and you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again, you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.”

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am so very grateful to the good Lord above for such stunning, amazing, beautiful pieces of art work within our canvas of a world!

Today, I sat outside with my mom and put together about 12 containers of flowers. We had the bestest soil for the job and the flowers were absolutely perfect. The sun was shining, a light breeze filled the air…gorgeous day to pot plants.

We set all the pots of various shapes, colors and sizes outside of the house and they look great! The vibrant colors really pop.

And now, as the day has turned to night, I’m grateful for the rain that has come to water all of our pretties (and the yellowing lawn) and strengthen them.

In the chaotic mess of life, God’s beauty has always had a way with me.

Thank you. :)

I told my boyfriend about this goal (but not too much about my 43T) and he was a little surprised I hadn’t seen this before.

A while back, we started thinking of things to do when he gets back home and he thought we should add this to our list…he’s going to watch it with me. :)

So, I’m waiting for my guy to get back to watch Breakfast at Tiffany’s.
...to complete my goal.
He’s spectacular. <3

P.S. He also said he’s going to help me complete many of my other goals…he’d be a great camping-dancing-concert-going-cuddling-under-the-stars companion! (((smiles)))