Threetimesthree

Well, the other day, my crush, guess we’ll call him C. mentioned his gf, for the first time in ages.

I can’t pinpoint exactly what that did to me. It didn’t tinge. It didn’t hurt. Not sure… I think I was moved. Moved that such a great guy seems to have it all.

I’m not unrealistic about C. I know he has his faults and that we’re not really each other’s type.

But obviously he doesn’t need to be my type for me to maintain a puppy love of a crush on him. That’s almost the beauty of it. It need not be realistic.

Meanwhile, I’ve been having a blast working with him. And enjoying his flirty comments and responding oh so coolly (I’m not one mess with a taken man but I still have to be a little fun).

Can’t say whether it’s flirting, but it’s probably more teasing and friendly than his gf would like.

Anyway, C.’s adorable and I’ve really come to care about him. Fascinatingly, we’ve managed to keep things relatively professional, in spite of all the laughs. He doesn’t know jack about me and I, just a little about him (he’s more keen on sharing).

I wonder what his gf is like, if she’s equally lovely. If they’re the adorable, outgoing couple everyone envies. If he’s the happy type I’ll never have because I’m always so dark, broody and trapped in my inadequacies… (to be honest, he’s annoyingly positive… almost to the point of innocence… which is a bit meh).

C. has brought me a lot. He’s supportive. He seems to care about me. He seems to respect my work. And definitely respects my opinion (part of him doesn’t know better but hey :P I have very valid opinions!)

And unless it’s all in my head, he’s taught me that I can catch the attention of a really great guy. That when the mood strikes, I can somewhat flirt. He’s like feral cat rehab or something LOL

I guess I dated my X for so long that that side of me never really matured and thus has remained breathtakingly childish. Not to mention the effects of my euh… lesser upbringing.

Doesn’t matter. A kiddie (or should I say ‘kittie’) romance is still a romance. And I get to enjoy it at my own pace. Meow!

Around this time last year, I snapped at one of my bosses, who ironically, really enjoys working with me and seems to really care about me.

Except that she’s quite… volatile. I internally call her ‘bipolar’. After I snapped at her, her eyes watered as she apologized quietly. Yikes! This boss, let’s call her K., is known for her temper. So much so that one of our top analysts was contemplating leaving due to being unable to work with her. Some humour her and let her have her fit, others anguish and anticipate every criticism she might have and get all paranoid about doing their work in a very specific way.

...and K. is the nicer one of the ‘rough around the edges’ (RATE) superiors.

Two more of my female bosses, in their own style, alienate the heck out of their employees. But they are authoritative, important, bring in lots of money. One analyst even left the firm temporarily due to P.’s insufferable temper. I personally have scratched N. off of my list of goodwill, she’s a b*tch.

Yet deep down, these three women care about their coworkers. They get involved, they are generous, they will fight for the ones they care about. N. has fought tooth and nails to keep and underperforming analysts.

I’m not machiavellian enough to tell myself that I should put these women on my side. I’m just not that kind of opportunist. My loss, I guess. Manners matter.

I’m not one to appreciate that ‘when it matters, the RATE come through’. Sure, on the odd day that you need some serious help, RATE are often extremely generous and proactive.

But daily interactions matter too. And to be honest, it’s probably a little easier to give an olive branch or extend a helping hand when you vent your frustrations on people all day.

I don’t know, what if being RATEallows you to have a big heart? Wouldn’t the real merit be to be kind at ALL times? Emergency or not?

Was reminiscing about lesser times tonight… But also remembered something much much sweeter. Cappadocia, 2011.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RfoqELZWcp8:URL