Well, the other day, my crush, guess we’ll call him C. mentioned his gf, for the first time in ages.
I can’t pinpoint exactly what that did to me. It didn’t tinge. It didn’t hurt. Not sure… I think I was moved. Moved that such a great guy seems to have it all.
I’m not unrealistic about C. I know he has his faults and that we’re not really each other’s type.
But obviously he doesn’t need to be my type for me to maintain a puppy love of a crush on him. That’s almost the beauty of it. It need not be realistic.
Meanwhile, I’ve been having a blast working with him. And enjoying his flirty comments and responding oh so coolly (I’m not one mess with a taken man but I still have to be a little fun).
Can’t say whether it’s flirting, but it’s probably more teasing and friendly than his gf would like.
Anyway, C.’s adorable and I’ve really come to care about him. Fascinatingly, we’ve managed to keep things relatively professional, in spite of all the laughs. He doesn’t know jack about me and I, just a little about him (he’s more keen on sharing).
I wonder what his gf is like, if she’s equally lovely. If they’re the adorable, outgoing couple everyone envies. If he’s the happy type I’ll never have because I’m always so dark, broody and trapped in my inadequacies… (to be honest, he’s annoyingly positive… almost to the point of innocence… which is a bit meh).
C. has brought me a lot. He’s supportive. He seems to care about me. He seems to respect my work. And definitely respects my opinion (part of him doesn’t know better but hey :P I have very valid opinions!)
And unless it’s all in my head, he’s taught me that I can catch the attention of a really great guy. That when the mood strikes, I can somewhat flirt. He’s like feral cat rehab or something LOL
I guess I dated my X for so long that that side of me never really matured and thus has remained breathtakingly childish. Not to mention the effects of my euh… lesser upbringing.
Doesn’t matter. A kiddie (or should I say ‘kittie’) romance is still a romance. And I get to enjoy it at my own pace. Meow!