Tiisi

You are tired. You sit
Next to a man in chain
Mail on the train, not
Noticing until he begins
His barbaric yawp, hot in
Your left ear. You notice,
Peripherally, the red tint
Of his bleary blue eyes,
Then the shaking knee
Of the man in the opposite
Seat and look up to find the
Love of your life trying not
To laugh out loud. Not that
You know it then, though
Some part of you wakes up
When he executes the worst
Fake cough ever to cover his
Giggles and you say, at the
Top of your usually timid
Lungs, “BLESS YOU!”
These things happen
Every day.

friend’s wedding, at her house in NC, turned out to be about three blocks from where my late husband and I used to live, the site of three of the four trauma triggers I desensitized through EMDR. I felt nothing other than a little amusement that it should be so close. That’s pretty spectacular, in my book.

In my last two sessions, we worked on the trigger of paying off debt. LOTS of stuff surfaced, from difficulty giving him up as truly gone to feeling lonely and unloved because I did it by myself.

I don’t have any PTSD symptoms currently and am feeling happier and more relaxed than I have in a very long time. I’m sleeping well, barely worrying and rolling around in love like a cat in catnip. I’m seeing the therapist next week to make sure everything “held” and I’ll see her again after that in six months for the same reason. I’m so glad I spent the money and took the time to do this.

that makes roses bloom in snow. It’s a joy to watch these two interact and share their playful, deep, true love. Like everyone else, I’m beyond thrilled that they get to be together after way too long caught in bureaucracy.