TropicalOceanSunset

My little sister and my twin brother both got saved within the last 2 weeks, which is a pretty amazing/spectacular/phenomenal thing.
I think I learned a bit about what it means to lead someone to Christ…Both times (with my sister and then brother), I wasn’t the person who literally LEAD them to Christ. For my sister it happened when she was talking to the youth pastors wife, and for my brother while praying with some guys at a bible study. So basically, it was a team effort sharing Jesus with them.
I realize this is awesome because, I can’t take credit for any of it! It’s ALL because of Jesus. It’s kept my pride about it in check. All I’ve done is rejoiced that they have been saved.

What I’m really trying to get at is, when do we ever REALLY lead someone to Christ? Christ leads people to himself. We don’t even open the doors; he does that as well. He just graciously lets us participate in it. I believe that’s what he did with my siblings. I was obedient, I talked with them, I invited them to church/bible studies, and when they came, he called them.

So I consider this goal done, according to how I now see ‘leading someone to Christ’, and that is for me, merely my obedience in sharing the good news with others, and acknowledging that it was Christ who really did the leading, not me.

I think I originally formed this goal in order to please another person. I’ve been clumsy my whole life: I trip over air, have broken numerous bones, drop things constantly and litterally walk into walls. I knew my fiance (now Ex-fiance) did not like that I was clumsy, and even made fun of me for it. He didn’t want me to touch certain things of his because he thought I would break them…he almost didn’t even let me drive his car once even though it was a necessity for me to drive it!
My point is…I’m tired of making goals for the sole purpose of please others. Being clumsy is a part of who I am. I have no control of it. It’s not that I’m careless..I don’t know what it is. But I neither deserve nor need to be teased, ridiculed or otherwise made to feel bad about the fact I am. And hopefully someday I’ll meet a guy who won’t care that I’m clumsy, because it’s not something that’s gonna change anytime soon.

Let’s see where I am on this goal.

Still not a fan of being single.

The thing is, I’m happy AND I’m single. But I’m not happy that I’m single. I’m not exactly unhappy either. What do I mean?? I’m sort of indifferent at the moment. I’m OK with being single for the time being. It’s not my favorite thing in the world. It’s familiar though. lol. And I guess I’ve just decided that there are worse things.

Like being in a bad relationship. I’d rather be single.
Like getting a divorce. I’d rather be single.
Like settling for someone who isn’t what you want/need but is just ‘there’. I’d rather be single.

So I guess things are improved. Perhaps there will be a day, when I am happy to be single.

Of course, I’m sure it will be that day when I find someone to marry. Cuz life is kinda funny like that. I mean go figure right?