Vader5

Well I went horseback riding with a girl I met through another friend. She told me to come down any time I wanted to ride. I went to her house, and we went out for 3 hours! It was great. The weather was perfect, we did some trail blazing, and saw some beautiful scenery on her property. Will definitely be going as much as I can. I want to learn to learn how to become proficient at riding…:)

I found that after I got out of a long relationship, I was involving myself in destructive behaivor that affected my mental, emotional and physical states of being. I hit bottom in the beginning of May and stayed there for a couple weeks. During that point I asked myself what I needed to do to be happy. I took a good hard look at myself and decided the issue was I wasn’t being the person I wanted to be, and until I am that person, I won’t be happy with myself, and not being happy with myself would make it impossible to be happy with someone I want to share my life with.

I am now currently working on filling my life with activities that I want to do for me, not ones other people want me to do. If you ever read “The Secret” you know that the energy you put out into the world is the energy that comes back to you. I want to find friends and someone to share my life with eventually. And the only way to attract down to earth, honest, family oriented people, is to be involved in activities that facilitate the things I want.

I started to hang out with my family more, I stopped going to the bars and started becoming more involved with my volunteer work, and the results of how I feel are AMAZING! Its only been 3-4 weeks of this, but I really think I can be happy going down this path.

A few months ago I met a person who I thought was pretty cool to hang out with. We started to hang out a lot, during the week, during the weekends, we would text and email, etc. Over the few months this person was constantly breaking up with and getting back with their significant other. She was always talking about what was going on in other people’s lives and her own; I felt like I was in a soap opera. I had a bit of a melt down after I had dated one of her boyfriends friends, and decided I needed to take a break from people in general and focus on myself, my happiness, my work and my family. Over the past few weeks I filled my calendar with wholesome activities like going to baseball games, charity events, family picinics, volunteer work and so on. I told this person I didn’t want to hang out at bars anymore, and I wanted to lay low for a few months in order to clear my mind. I started inviting her to these things as well, but she never wanted to do what I was doing. She asked me to do some things the past few weeks, but I couldn’t because I had already made plans or didn’t want to go because they were going to a bar.
My goal was to sever ties with this person, and it happened. She invited me out, and I said I couldn’t because I was working late, then she texted me that she was never asking me to do anything again, and hasn’t really talked to me since. I did make an effort to talk to her, and remind her of all the things I invited her to do, but she never came to, and I didn’t cut her off.
Even though I was upset by the way things were cut off, I know it is for the better because there was just so much drama. And the fact that she can say I was a friend, and cut me out so quickly because I couldn’t hang out for a week or two really shows her character. Goal number 1 accomplished!