I’m not ashamed to talk about it and it usually helps me to do so. My mother was 100% Russian and when I was 12 she committed suicide. I was so angry and hurt that I basically went through all the things I could change (maybe not physically) that reminded me of her and I changed them. I changed my religion, I stopped celebrating certain things that were part of the Russian culture (food, dancing, music etc.) and above all I stopped speaking Russian. I absolutely refused to do it. My grandparents and I would have conversations that consisted of them speaking to me in Russian and me answering back in English. I held my anger in for a long time until I met my husband and learned that I wasn’t the only one who lost a parent to suicide. Since then I have been gradually starting to let go of my anger and have started to incorporate some of the things I use to do into my daily life again. After all she was still my mum, and yes what she did was selfish, but I have to learn to forgive sometime and I can’t spend the rest of my life being angry. I’m lucky I have a husband who speaks Russian as well. He can help me brush up on mine. Ah he’s my life saver :-)
I haven’t always followed the rules and yeah I went through my rebellious stage, but I think I’m ready to better myself in the best way I know how.
Wouldn’t that be amazing? If you don’t know who he is, he hijacked a plane, they gave him 200,000 dollars, he jumped from the plane in mid air, and they never found him or his money except for maybe 6,000 dollars worth many years later.
He gave me my birthday present early because I had a bad week filled with stalkerish ex boyfriends. I love my husband and not because he buys me stuff, but because he’s my best friend and he’s always there for me when I need him. If I asked him to swim the deepest ocean or climb the highest mountain he’d do it for me in a heartbeat and vice versa. I Love My Hubby<3
