Xhadow

I’m young, just turned 18, but I’ve fallen in love with someone who’s never known much love himself. He isn’t the typical guy girls fall for, and he’s quiet, cold, and pretty much a jerk. But I love all the good qualities about him. I’ve asked him out once by email but then he liked someone else, and so he said no, in a very cold way, not mean, just unemotional…

When he was giving me a ride yesterday, I got the guts to ask him again, now that almost everything was out of the way except maybe some probably fading feelings for someone that didn’t want him. He told me no again. I think I saved our friendship, and that it’s getting better and that’s the only thought that keeps me from crying. I won’t pursue him anymore, but I can’t help but keep loving him- and I know it’s love because I’ve never been sure before- and everything in the world seems to be saying yes, this is someone you’re supposed to be with but he doesn’t want it. I won’t pursue it but I can’t help but wonder and hope a tiny bit if he will ever change his mind by the end of our senior year. In the meantime, what do I do? Is it wrong to still hope, to still wonder? I just wonder.