Xianificent

I’ve been meditating for longer, always an hour although I still just get up sometimes.
Today I focused on my posture, trying to make my back feel better. Turns out I can do it if I’m not so rigidly effortful. Also, I can count to eight if I don’t focus so sharply on my breathing.
I started out thinking about what I did today, when I was done I just looked at the breath in the body.
I was feeling a lot of loneliness- some from reading old blogs about when I was leaving LA. I did some Tonglen for the loneliness.
There were points were I was quite altered… funny. Maybe its the spine thing.

This will be a concrete way to rejoin the farm

new rule: Stop lusting after jobs just because you’ve romanticized them and they seem to enhance your status. Consider better how much you want to be there. In the courtroom all day? In Lake County? Why not insurance agent or prison guard while you’re at it. Not saying I’d refuse if it was dropped in my lap..

Sheila gave me the secret but I haven’t made it yet

and now I gotta do it again.

91. Seeing the gays become politically active
92. Hypnosis
93. Saying what I feel
94. Edging
95. Imagining the 10th dimension
96. Robert Bryanton
97. Working things out
98. Marcus/Charlie slash fiction
99. Aliens,mediums,synchromysticism
100. Obama won!

There’s a beautiful monastery of the forest tradition about an hour away. Best of all worlds and not as scary as that goenka thing in central california. I planned to do it when Sid was gone, but maybe when Papa is gone.

Is it real kindness if it aches when it doesn’t come back? Gentleness is paramount when your heart is breaking..for yourself and the world that you would lash out at. Can’t afford to get sucked into some fantasy story. Stay present.

I can touch my toes now. Still inconsistent in my yoga practice, but always include forward bends even in abbreviated routines

80. antidepressants
81. finally seasoning those cast iron pans
82. Survivor Gabon!
83. Papa smiling in his sleep
84. rain, finally
85. Baby doing the dishes
86. hot sex
87. Obama!
88. Surviving the last month
89. writing 2 entries for # 80
90. meditation

so, I am ready for this(even though its taken me fucking forever. I blame my hate of filling out forms)
Got 10 images, so…

70. Remembering my dreams
71. Semiotic analysis of news photos
72. Watching Sarah Palin look like an idiot
73. Watering plants
74. Doing dishes
75. Making soup
76. Meditating with my honey
77. Getting shit done
78. Obsessively following the election
79. Not being pressured
80. vanilla yogurt

61. Chah
62. pho
63. Slack
64. Jack Chick
65. Heat
66. Grubs in the compost
67. Cleaning house, waiting for my baby
68. Dinner at Mom’s
69. Mud

Sent fathers day card in June… must not have checked goals in a while? ya think?

Starting to write on a regular basis. I’m comfortable in my surroundings and that translates into song time. Setting the intention didn’t hurt, though :)

55. Siddhartha’s new moustache
56. Making new friends like Troy, Serine and Natalie
57. Seeing old friends like Peter, Sioarse and Kevan
58. thinking ahead to a joint family with Sid, Poona and Kashi!
59. Peet’s coffee
60. Going back to Lake County again again again

Hey teammates? Whassup? Any good thoughts?

50. Horror stories
51. Accepting that its gonna take time
52. Having a good poo
53. Having something to do
54. Having nothing to do
55. Fighting fires!

Not having a computer has been way holding me back on this goal, but lets put that aside.

HTML Goals:
1. how to make a picture link (click on picture)

2. how to stick a youtube video in an email?

3. learn the state of HTML today

It would feel great to bring in some cash for the family, but the tonnage is so low this year, finding a new buyer isn’t necessary

46. Moopsy sitting on the couch
47. Mom actually looking happy these days
48. Doctor Who
49. Rob Brezsny
50. Obama!