Jenna

I wouldn’t consider myself miserable, but definitely not as carefree/optimistic currently as in years past. Basically, I’ve become a bit of a tightass. I’ve made up my mind to overcome this, and eventually return to my former, “happier” self. Many years ago, when struggling with emotional issues, I found a great deal of help through the lyrics of 311 (which is why they are, and always will be, my “number one”). I will share some of my favorite lines here and there, I hope 311 fans and non-fans alike will find them uplifting and useful (as reminders of what we’re striving for everyday). Let’s start with this one:
“The jaded ones will wither while the optimistic grow.”

In the Fall, I’ll be starting my fifth year of college. I’ve spent the last four years conentrating on a Music Education degree and suddenly decided that may not be what I really want to do. Because I’ve already taken so many music classes, I thought it simply ridiculous to get a degree unrelated to that (as I don’t know what I want to do, period, now), so I switched my major to just plain Music, which obviously has less course requirments. I’ll graduate in the Spring, and will have taken all the required classes (with the exception of one, which won’t be offered again until the Fall after I graduate) to get the Music ED degree that I don’t even want, anymore (also, I’d have to do a semester of student teaching). Ugh … Anyway, just unloading on the unwaivering ear of the computer. Just plain confused, pretty much.

The other day, I noticed two * miniscule * wrinkles on my forehead. Although I’ve been playing with the idea of quitting for sometime, this really struck it home. Sounds silly, as we all know the horrid affects that smoking has on your body, but they’re easy to ignore/not think about, because you can’t see them/feel them until the symptoms are pretty bad (especially since I have never been an active person, and don’t have * or avoid * the opportunity to experience shortness of breath, often). These signs of premature aging (which I know are from exposure to cigarette smoke), however, are … Nagging. Although I’m sure nobody else even notices them, I might as well have the Grand Canyon on my face (that’s how I feel when I look in the mirror)! Just another reason (among many) to quit sooner rather than later.