_Nessa

just feels so alone...



I'm doing 35 things
 

_Nessa's Life List

  1. 1. List 1000 quotes that inspire me in some way
    27 entries . 9 cheers
    1 person
  2. 2. Trust the universe
    20 cheers
    27 people
  3. 3. leave heads-up pennies for the finding
    5 cheers
    28 people
  4. 4. sell something i made
    2 entries . 6 cheers
    9 people
  5. 5. go skinny dipping
    1 entry . 6 cheers
    3,086 people
  6. 6. Make a popular website
    4 cheers
    76 people
  7. 7. become ambidextrous
    2 entries . 5 cheers
    867 people
  8. 8. clean my room
    2 entries . 5 cheers
    2,664 people
  9. 9. Learn to surf
    6 cheers
    7,352 people
  10. 10. Give blood
    1 entry . 10 cheers
    2,954 people
  11. 11. Learn to play the guitar
    7 cheers
    12,629 people
  12. 12. do the splits
    1 cheer
    2,006 people
  13. 13. do 100 consecutive sit ups
    4 entries . 3 cheers
    5 people
  14. 14. do one hundred consecutive push-ups
    4 entries . 6 cheers
    296 people
  15. 15. always carry a sharpie with me and make it a point to scrawl out inspiring and well-intentioned graffiti on the walls of public bathroom stalls
    3 cheers
    45 people
  16. 16. do a triathalon
    5 cheers
    179 people
  17. 17. Go snowboarding
    7 cheers
    686 people
  18. 18. leave little messages, quotations,pieces of art etc. for strangers to find
    1 entry . 7 cheers
    180 people
  19. 19. relearn how to play the keyboard
    1 cheer
    1 person
  20. 20. Pay it Forward
    2 cheers
    650 people
  21. 21. see the northern lights
    4 cheers
    16,864 people
  22. 22. cure my insomnia
    2 entries . 2 cheers
    199 people
  23. 23. find out what my blood type is
    2 cheers
    1,317 people
  24. 24. Live less inside my own head
    4 cheers
    329 people
  25. 25. take care of myself: physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually
    2 entries . 5 cheers
    11 people
  26. 26. forgive my parents
    3 cheers
    160 people
  27. 27. learn sign language
    1 entry . 2 cheers
    7,663 people
  28. 28. Give 1000 cheers
    1 entry . 1 cheer
    182 people
  29. 29. Write more
    2 entries
    3,497 people
  30. 30. Donate blood
    3 cheers
    2,575 people
  31. 31. breathe fire
    1 cheer
    43 people
  32. 32. disclose 43 random THINGS about myself
    2 entries
    78 people
  33. 33. Ask for help when I need it
    1 entry . 3 cheers
    72 people
  34. 34. Read The Lord of The Rings
    1 entry
    153 people
  35. 35. just write it all out
    6 entries . 1 cheer
    1 person

How I did it
How to break my coffee addiction
It took me
1 week
It made me
proud but headachy


How to read all harry potter books
It took me
10 days
It made me
cry cry cry cry


How to continue my dream journal
It took me
1 day
It made me
happy


See all "How I Did It" stories...

Recent entries
just write it all out (read all 6 entries…)
Children 1 day ago

No, this isn’t a post about children. Although i would have alot to say on that matter. But this is more about me, and my own personal growth. recently i have matured so quickly i can actually feel the change. I can be looking at someone and its like their getter younger infront of my eyes. Not so much younger in age of appearance, but their personalities. Personalities that used to intimidate me – no longer. I am surprised at how sheltered the people around me are. How their idea of the world around them is so far off from reality it scares me. Their nievity and innocence. How have i not seen this before?

So then i look at myself. I’m the one changing. Now i’ve always been the baby of the group. Im the youngest, shortest, vulnerablist, shyest ect…my friends look after me! and all of a sudden im struck by their “youth” like its so upsetting but kinda reasurring in a way. Im glad that none of them have suffered enough hardship or seen enough evil to feel the way about humanity as others do. But on the other hand, all my life i have been “looked after”, financially by my parents, physically by my friends. But to be honest i think i have raised myself emotionally and i take care of my emotions alone. And i like it better that way. But now i can see all these “children” around me, and i cant understand how they still look after me. Because they do, its not like ive “grown up” completly. Im only 16, i cant support myself! I still need my parents and friends. Just not as much as i thought.

And then its kinda sad. Have i lost my childhood? I sixteen years old. Is that even supposed to be in chidhood? In so many ways i still feel like a child, and i still am i child. I dont understand things about this world, and some things i know im still not strong enough to handle. But then in other ways, i understand things, have views about, feel strong emotions for and can deal with things, my friends cant. They are older than me, stronger than me, most have been through more than me and ,i thought, they went through life in a more “adult” way. But they are nothing but children.

But do we ever stop being children? How can you define something like that? Just because you can take care of yourself, look after others, behave in a mature way and hold certain views about certain things – does that mean you are no longer a child? Because in that case….i think i have stopped being a “child” a long time ago…



Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful. (read all 172 entries…)
9 November 1 day ago

1. laughing – lisa – mike – tom – revalations – controlling jelousy
2. a stressful day turning out to be not so stressful
3. asking for help – trying to grow into a better person
4. growing up – being mature enough to handle this – knowing what i want – keeping my dreams alive, even if they never come true
5. seeing life completly differently to how i used to – wanting to protect the people around me like they were my children

thank you



Daily: Reflect on 5 things for which I'm grateful. (read all 172 entries…)
8 November 2 days ago

1. working – long conversations with tom
2. confidence – laughing – crying – leting it out
3. seeing the bright side of losing a true inpiration – learning to survive by myself
4. new friends – being worth knowing
5. making descisions – enjoying my work – being myself – tings going my way

thank you



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