I find this goal especially hard to accomplish since I was adopted by my mom’s sister who subsequently passed me over to other family members when she was deployed on active duty from the reserves. I don’t resent her, but I spent most of my childhood trying to please people and trying to be as likable as possible. Acting like this has caused me to appear “fake” and “wannabe perfect.” I find it very difficult to show up to class since I’m so afraid of people in those classes judging me. I’ve failed eight semesters because of this. I don’t have many friends since I deleted my Facebook after a girl told everyone a secret I didn’t want to be told. This was years after high school. I try to keep work about work and now I can’t seem to transition from coworkers to friends. I’d like to go out with people and be happy, but all I can see is people judging me or talking about me. I wish I didn’t see the world around me the way that I do. At times I feel like my boyfriend (we live together), is my only friend.
An article about a study proving that psychedelic mushrooms can alter a person’s personality for the better.
Craigslist was definitely a really big help again. I only applied to places that I thought I would like to work at. No use in applying to a place that would make you sad unless you really needed the money.
I became really sick of going to facebook, tumblr, and twitter all day long, so I told myself to quit it. I hadn’t checked Craigslist for a job in a while and I got lucky finding the salon I work at now.
I’ve flossed two days in a row so far. I get some really good thinking done when I’m flossing.
Today is a new start day for me.
due to erratic sleeping patterns and my boyfriend sleeping over, but now that school’s starting, I’m hoping to set my body straight and stick to a schedule. Yay for google calendar!
In conjunction to my other goal about exercising regularly, I’m working on burning more fat by generally running. Today I’m going to the lake to run with a friend at 7am! :D
The week is almost over and I have not been searching for any salons!
I hate excuses, but my reasoning is that I’m still doing salon related type things this week. My friend Adam is working on a short film and I’m the hairstylist/make up artist for the film. We’ll be working on it every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday evenings.
Also with it being the new year, people have had open minds and have been asking me to practice cutting their hair this week. I got six calls this week! I know that to other professionals in the industry, six calls isn’t anything to go crazy about, but usually I’ll have one client a month because of my regulars.
I don’t know. I need to be more professional and work on my business cards/website.
So far I went on about a three mile run with four pound weights with a little bit of an incline somewhere in the middle of the run. Oh my goodness, that was super hard! I mean, I’ve ran that route many times before, but the hand weights were an extra slap in the face considering I didn’t try to work up to it with doing just the jog itself without the weights, or progressing the heaviness of the weight. That was two days ago.
Today I’m up early to go on a five mile run with a friend. He gets really crazy when he gets into shape, but the way I want to approach this is different from his method. I just want to exercise all the time, and not make it like, “Oh yeah! New year! Going to work out!!!” and then forget about it later on in the year. I want to make it an all the time thing.
It’s not quite 8 hours, but at least it was at a semi-normal time, which I’m really happy about. I got home at 10 and as usual, I slept on the couch with my boyfriend. I mean, I do have a room with a bed and all, but he’s not allowed in it, which just makes me sleep on the couch if I can’t sleep in my room with him.
Anyway, I pretty much just fell asleep a little after ten and woke up around 2am, but tried to sleep until 4am to drive him back home.
When he sleeps over I guess I can’t sleep soundly if he’s over because I’ve either had to wake up to wash dishes before my aunt wakes up, or I need to stop cuddling with him and sleep on the other couch because my aunt has woken up.
And I do sleep soundly, I dream when I sleep even if my time sleeping is short.
So I’m not actually tired but part of me thinks that I can’t distinguish what tired and hungry feel like anymore. I’ve ran on two hours of sleep and functioned for eighteen hours. And I’ve had a big dinner, but when I woke up this morning my stomach was making noise but I didn’t feel hungry. Maybe digesting? Who knows. Anyway, I hope to be in bed sometime between 8pm and 12pm tonight.
Ideally I would want to have a BMI of 18.5 for various reasons. I know I’m pudgy around my midsection and lately I’ve been leading a sedentary lifestyle. I want to lose weight/fat. Also, I used to be a cheerleader and if I weigh less, I would be a more desirable flier if I decide to somehow get back into it. Might be difficult considering competitive college cheer-leading is something that a person would excel in if they had extensive gymnastic capabilities and experience.
According to the CDC.GOV website, my Body Mass Index (BMI) is currently 20.4. This means that I’m in the 33rd percentile which is like, a little under what I like to think is the halfway mark.
In hopes of achieving this goal, it will help me achieve my other goals of waking up early (I still haven’t determined how early is early, but I’m looking at sometime between 4am and 8am), washing my face at night, flossing at least once a day (for now and progressing to twice a day).
Since going to my Aesthetician friend Patti on December 29th, I’ve been doing pretty well in sticking to my newly formed nightly routine: brush teeth, floss, rinse with mouthwash, remove eye makeup, double wash my face (once for make up, second for general skin cleaning), and applying my… I don’t know what to call it, but I guess it’s a moisturizer/anti acne thing, Clean Start by Dermalogica’s Bedtime for Breakouts.
Doing well until recently.
My boyfriend likes to come over in the afternoon and sometimes we fall asleep on the couch. When we do this, I don’t get to do my routine and I end up sleeping for the whole night/random 9 hours regardless of the time of day.
Basically, washing my face every night is difficult because, well… I don’t actually sleep in the night time. I’m really trying to fix it though. I think I should add sleeping normally to my list.
Today I spent all morning sifting through the results I received in my accounts at Scholarships.com and Zinch Which are both free scholarship search engines. Even with them narrowing down which ones I would be applicable for, there were a ton that I was not interested in. I did find an interesting knitting/crocheting yearly scholarship.
It’s weird, at the Scholarships website they would state that the application deadline would be April 12, 2012 for example. But upon visiting the website, The new contest period hasn’t even begun so at the present moment it would be impossible to apply. I don’t know, maybe this search engine is faulty or something. It was one recommended by a counselor at my old high school so it makes me question the effectiveness of some of these websites.
Zinch was a little better and allowed me to add personal interests and enables you to get in touch with admission representatives. Their search engines required me to do some sifting as well but their website allows me to keep track of if I liked the scholarship, applied for it, and even won it. They also enable you to like universities as well and similar to the scholarship tracking, it tracks which universities I liked, applied to, and got accepted it. This website is a little similar to college board, in the fact that they can sort Universities.
I’ve selected a few scholarships that I’m eligible for and even started working on an outline for a personal statement essay. I’m a little apprehensive in asking people for recommendations though. Google will definitely help me with recommendation request etiquette. I know I’m a little behind the curve when it comes to choosing college and preparing and scholarships and stuff, but at least I’m trying.
and I logged onto my Scholarships.com account. In the process of trying to update my profile so I can see which scholarships I am qualified for, the system gives me this page that basically says they’re unable to help me at the moment. Ugh, I actually start trying and the system won’t let me. I’m trying to be productive right now. Anyway, I guess I’ll try again later. :/
This was the first time I ran with weights. They were only four pounds, but after about three miles, they feel like forty! I’m going to try and make running with weights at least a weekly thing, then progress to bi-weekly.
I was supposed to be taking notes for my Cosmetology State Board exam, but instead of going over some of the practice tests, I drew an octopus staring lovingly at the Bride of Frankenstien with A skeleton off to the side and a floating skull. I drew the skeleton after looking at a skeleton we had in the classroom. The Bride of Frankestien has always been a beautiful figure to me and was the inspiration for a dollhead competition when I first started beauty school.
I’ve been doing things that I really should not have been doing. I don’t feel bad and I’m not overtly happy about it. So out of no where I decided to pick up my Grandmother’s Bible and flip through it. Within the table of contents I found the Book of Wisdom so I decided to start reading it.
When I was younger and learning to read the Bible in Sunday school, I interpreted it in a way that would please my teachers. What was different this time around was I treated it like any other book and related the reading to my life, and you know what? It wasn’t that bad. Being born a Catholic, I don’t really identify as a “true” Catholic. From what I’ve learned Jesus wants us to be tolerant and even explore other religions and that’s what I’m doing. In reading the Bible, I’m trying to interpret it for myself and there is no right or wrong way. Of course there are the set guidelines like the Beatitudes and the Ten Commandments, but hey, honestly they’re all up to our own interpretation. God doesn’t have an ask box or an email or a hotline. I suppose I could go to my local Priest or Nun or something, but I think the best way for me to do it would be to talk to him myself and pray. In the end though, I’ll just use my best judgement.
Say, for about a year now. Here and there I’ll go long distance biking, or a run, but it has not been consistent. My left ankle and my right knee/hip kind of hurt when I run [I ran two days this week :D ], but I’m thinking it might be my shoes since I’ve been using them since 2007. Keep in mind I never used them in 2009 & 2010. When they were in use, I was running about 5 miles a day 6 days a week, so that should give you an idea of how much they were used. Possibly I need to stretch more. I still need to accomplish that goal too.
Anyway, best of luck to others attempting this goal! I shall get better running shoes.
I say this because my sense of style is going in a direction where I wear dresses often. I guess I’m just going to have to get some spandex-esque shorts, or cut off some leggings!
When I went to the fair a couple of weeks ago, I saw some brilliant tress begging me to climb them, but it was dark, and I had a feeling that security would’ve kicked me out. Ugh, excuses, excuses.
I SHALL CLIMB YOU TREES!