acqua555

If I`m going to count the time of my life i have lived without TV, I would have to say about 10 years !!!
First , during college, while I was taking my degree in Law and Pos-graduations, I lived in an oldish house , in a tipical “barrio” , in the center of Lisbon , a place full of history ( wich dates back to the 12th century) then , turned into fashion place for the intelectual bohemians !
It was so apealing , and lively during the night (sometimes too alive), that I easily ajust not having TV…I prefered to go to the esplanades, the “intelectual”(or not so much )discussions in the bars of all kind of styles (mixing the old with the new tendencies).
I had a small TV , with a radio , clock , everything that my father bought to me in Italy !
But my routine was read the newspapers during the day, and sleep at the sound of the radio!
I also travelled for long periods of time ( 3 months a year), to places, mostly in Africa , where we ( the ONG that I worked with) were allways going to diferent places, again, with no tv…sometimes with no radio…
So when I finally had my home , Yes I bought 2 TVs …that were allways off!
I preferred, and STILL DO , to read a book, and listen to good music !
I could spend the rest of my days with my books and my music , and I wouldn`t miss TV ! Believe it or not ! :)
But that`s me !
Hugs !!!!

Don`t try to force it.
Any poem is already inside you.
You just have to stop and listen.
With time you`ll hear them clearly and clearly!

I`ve crossed the Sahara From North to South about 8 (eigth) times … always a story to tell…a new feeling to discover…a diferent person to meet !
The silence…the million stars at night…and so many thy things that one has to feel him/herself are experiences that shake and shape our mind!
Worth to be done !

That was a goal I set myself to pursue…wich I will try to keep on doing all my life!
For many times ( not as much as I could)this last year I was beside people who were hurt, disapointed, with no hope, and…just heard them…
The result…I start LOVING those people deeply in my heart, some -the most -became and TRUE Friends of mine , then and now , we can say we trully love eachother ,or on the way to it…
Because I learned (and still learning) to listen!
THAT´S A BIG ACHIEVEMENT IN LIFE, BIGGER THAN I THOUGHT !

I lived , and I`m planing to LIVE again…
Meanwhile the machine caught me on it`s wheels…
Fortunatly I`m bold enough to jump back to life , and that`s what i`m preparing !

I`m a choir for years now , with several presentations (all amateurs) , and it is REALLY wonderful …
Our Spirits get higher as we sing , strong , softly , acording to what is demanded from the range of each voice…Altogheter …and just a solo…Absolutly beaufifull to the senses…

“Oh, I didn`t mean to !!!Not intencionally !”, “That`s not the way I am”...”I Never Realized I`m Doing That ! ”...”Am I doing That?”...”No , I do it out of Love !” ... ” Oh My , Oh Me , Is that what is Happening? Noo ! ”
:)))
There is no telling when , how or why it may happen !
It just happens with a higher or lower degree of intensity !
TO LOVE THINGS AND USE PEOPLE , WHEN PEOPLE ARE MEANT TO BE LOVED AND THINGS TO BE USED !
Sometimes we just go half way…WE LOVE THINGS .
IT`s a natural fact of life , specially if you`re a person of habits, to love things…buy them, collect them , HAVING THEM !
And with all the direct and subliminar publicity , how can you escape?
The other half…is relative…We all use eachother somehow !
Since those relations happen in a healthy way …it´s good for all !
The nightmare happens when they both get together >>>loving things above people…Using people like they were less than things (the junk kind of things , not the one they value ) !
I `ve used the word “nightmare” above !
When you`re being used this way , you seem to be sleeping , with no waking up ,just enduring the pain , like it is something “normal”...You can “sleep like this for years , a lifetime , and you never realised what happened to your YOU !
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Sometimes, somebody close to you , or your *Own Self * tries to wake you up , but you will only listen IF you`re not too “sleepy” to realize what is happening…
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Very rarelly the “users” stop , because it`s confortable to them , and aparently to you as well…nor not!
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This will be a burden you will carry all your life , even if you get up , and get out of bed…
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If you`re AWAKE ( totally) it will be a constant pain…
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If you`re ALIVE (to live instead of exist) , you will find a way out to turn that pain into strengh … And you`ll probably be stronger and aware of dangers than the mos of us…
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This is all in an ultimate degree…
Usually the collors are more pale , with faded frontiers…
That`s where MOST people are…
What shall we do about it?
Because in so many times we are the BOTH entities >>>the one who uses , and the one who is used !
If we have THAT AWARENESS , God Bless you …Be your self police person…In favour of the victim , wich is YOU , or against the user , wich is you !!!
A Pure Heart and a setted Mind will help you…
Ultimatly…To begin…LOVE WILL HELP YOU !
WILL HELP ME…
WILL HELP US ALL …

The Goals of the “Papalagui” (just used the word “papalagui” because I think it fits perfectly here ) : people living by the concept that ” Men`s Freedom” consists in CHOOSING HIS/ HER OWN SLAVERY !
They work 8 hours a day (those who live In countries with efective Labour Laws) , but with the goal of being promoted inside their souls , therefore working then 12 hours a day!
They get married , and start having no time for themselves !
They seek God , and they feel compelled to go to cults , and religious cerimonies!
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Everything that is important in this life – LOVE / WORK / FAITH – turns out to become a too heavy burden !

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It doesn´t have to be that way …
Let`s look inside ourselves with “HUMBLE and TRUTHFUL seeking eyes” , and not “SUCESSFUL Seeking eyes ” !
Let`s find out what trully makes us happy and balanced , and not what fashion , family,frustration , or other outsider situation might induce us to determine what is better for us!

Unfortunatly , It is my belive that we from stage to stage…
And maybe that`s how it ought to be…
The soul of a 18 year old person , is not the same as when he reaches the age of 50 !

The priorities are diferent , and that is normal…

All we can hope is that he learns fast that those 12 hours have a great price he has to pay later on ! The indiference towards his inner self or the True Essence of God , is not scheduled cerimonies , but eveywhere , anywhere !

That there is a LIFE , outside his EXISTENCE !

HOPE FOR ALL OF THOSE IN THE MACHINE !

We are not perfect beings , but in the path of perfectioning ourselves…
This is the place !
This is the Time which was given to us All !
This is the Chance !
The strengh for the CHANGE is within OURSELVES , acording to the intensity of our desire to GROW , and our Faith !
AND THIS IS THE WAY TO GROW !
We may fall again…
And we should rise again , and carry on !
In the end of this existence , we will certainly be quite advanced in our earthly path , if we get up each time we fall , and start to walk again , with all the knowledge we have acquired with our falls , and avoiding the things that made us stumble !
Like a baby literally learns to walk and slowly starts getting his/her balance in a natural way…
We must be humble towards LIFE and realize that we are babies as well …in the tender sense of the word !
We should never take us too seriously …For we may fall in the next step !

Having a degree is a hard acomplishment , it means hours days , years of dedication to books and learning…
If it comes along with a ” doctor” label , it only sounds good to your ego in the begining …after a while you start getting use to it , and is just another “formal” way to be adressed to , and enventually , you with time , it becomes as normal as your name…no more inflated ego…Actually it`s the other way around…it implyes responsabilities that sometimes you are just so atached , specially if you`re a workoholic , that the rest of your life , family , old friends , life itself , stays behind and you become a sort of a “machine” …because you have responsabilities !!!
I took my degree in Law , dedicated myself day and night to my work , wanted to be a very good professional , polite , and so on.
But when I had everything (material things) , recognition , respect and love as well …my father needed me…
He was dying . I lived in another town , and he needed me near him. So I just left my house, the recognition, the bright future ahead , to moove to be near him 24 hours a day…
And I never felt so much love flowing between us , and coming from my heart…
It was THE BEST CHOICE I `VE MADE IN ALL MY LIFE ! OR ONE OF THEM !
He died peacefully , and I feel the Peace and Love we both felt in those months , although he was in big pain.
I feel he is so happy with me on the other side !!!
Eventually , I came back to practising Law , but in a diferent way… Analizing the person who was in front of me…his/her pains , the reasons , and started to dedicate more time to my small family , my true friends , and the needy !
And now I lead a more peacefull , fullfilling and happy life than the one I had before.
One situation comes to my mind , among so many that I have passed since I`ve decided to change my posture towards the tool that I have in my hand ( because it is a tool , just like any other worker ) ...
I had a big “drug dealing” case wich involved many people , some of them in jail…
And there was this man , who indicted too , but was outside.
All he wanted was his mobil to see the number of his daughter , to call her , to say that he was allright.
Months have passed since the group was caught (and that didn`t mean that they were all guilty …that was to be established in court ) and once more he came to my office asking if I given the number already…unfortunatly , I still had nothing for him…it was “evidence” .
I noticed he had loose weight (he didnt tell me anything …he was so polite …but I asked him directly if he had money to eat ) . He lowed down his head and didn´t say a thing…I took money from my wallet , and gave it to him…he didn´t want to acept…he was ashamed… I insisted he would do it for me…and for his daughter…he acepted looking into my eyes and touching his heart ( we didn`t speack a common language , so he couldn´t say “thank you” , that was more than a “thank you” ) . we usually had somebody to interpretate one another , but not that time.
The next time he came to the office , many weeks after, i was going to start speaking , but politly he made a sign with his hand for me to stop , and gave me the exact amount of money I had given to him a few month before…
I confess , although it was not too much , it wasn`t that small amount neither !
So he gave me the bill , with a smile in his lips ,and brightness in his eyes , and he wanted to do it BEFORE ANYTHING ELSE WAS SAID !
He was/is a polite, gentle , sweet soul that was caught in the midle of a confusion , in a country that wasn`t his!
Now he`s working …He`s a car engenier for a big company here !
May God Bless him !
Medical doctors , Lawyers,a simple person on the street make the diference in a persons life !
It`s not up to us to judge no one , but our father in Heaven .
But we can be HIS hands , mouth , instrument ,no matter what our “professional tool” is , by loving “our neighbour” !
You may say …” I Don´t know if he or she is worth it ”…
I found out that EVERYBOY is WORTH IT ( even if you don`t see them anymore) ... because that person may be a wonderfull person , who happens to be there to test you , or if he/ she is not that good , The Lord saw tha you have tryied it , and that gesture may just be the key for that person to start believing in life again !
Sorry for such a long comment , but this touches me personally !
With love…
Acqua …

We are alive , we have the perception of VISION , and we can see slowly the mist turns into shapes , collors …
We breath not just the moistured air of dawn , but most of all , we breath and fill our lungs and SOUL with life, hope , enthusiasm…
we overcame the night to see the light rise in front of us…
The miracle of a new day…
The mistey of life wich is there to be lived !

That`s the only “luggage” what you`ll take when you`ll leave this Eartlhy Home !
Life is where is everywhere…
“Home” for me is my family ….not a house or a place !
I found out more about me by leaving my “house” , than I would have by not going anywhere !
So>>>>travel…
Ah ! NOT AS A TURIST !AS A TREVELLER !
Meaning…live in local houses, eating local food ( with the due care and restrictions that our brains dictate…that`s why we have them) ; live the local traditions …
In one sentece : be one of them ( the local people ) !
Then you will see that you were in bondage when you just had your street to walk !
Then you will confront yourself with things and concepts you knew before and others , so strange to you ,as the light and the darkness !
And RIGHT THERE , inthat place , in that moment …You will FILL A GAP THAT YOU DIDN`T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD !!!
AND now imagine HOW MANY GAPS YOU HAVE , AND YOU DON´T KNOW ?
Only by confronting your ” YOU ” with ” THE REST OF THE WORLD ” !
You will NEVER BE COMPLETE , or know your limits , tastes, preferences, dislikes , until you leave your shell !
So Stamp , stamp , stamp … Drink , eat , breath life !
It is there for you , and if you are A TRAVELLER , it will not cost you that much !

Because it`s the crude reality…
IT was a nighmare when I first had to moove to another town…
It was more tnan 2 years ago , and there are things , i can`t simply touch because of the work they are going to give me…
Result »»»I have things packed for more than 2 years , and I don`t know what it is…
So…..
Do I really need them !!
I never felt the need otherwise they would be outside…
In Asia , budist monks make an anual check on their (small ) possessions…
If they didn`t use some object in the year before , they get rid of it , so new energies can come in…
Wy can`t we let it go…
What REALLY ties us to things are memories , and shelfishness…
Give away things we bought? No way !
But when we go , that is when we ties of this earth , we dont take any earthly thing with us , except our deeds !
Everithing else stays here…For others !
It may seem dificult in the begining, but after a while , you think that give to others ( needy or just will apreciate those things) is semms a bit like when you taste freedom.
«I`m not a slave of material things »
And that is more …OUTRAGEOUS when we know we cam make a HUGE diference , with our SMALL things , SMALL gestures , so SMALL sacrifice !

REJOICE !
I WOKE UP TO ANOTHER DAY !

I Knew Joy…
I had it for free…
I Just didnn`t knew it !
Now…
Now i`m making all the way again…
To Know JOY…
It was so with me !
It is so with you !
It just is so !
So…
I`m crossing the “eternal” lines of doubt
That separate numness and fear…
From the Freedom of JOY !!!

It`s so hard to listen to the noises of your silences…
In our small islands of confort and warmth…
These forgoten faces that charge and charge against us…
Their reasons make our reasons vain…
Their eyes that insist in looking into our souls…
These lonelinesses in the midle of the time…
These lives like a ark of broken things…
This numness that we choose…
And make us wake up too late !

We think we`re ETERNAL here , on this Earth…We think the others are as well ( meaning those who we care about) !
But some magig trick happens , we fall on a black hole, the twiligh zone , and , all of a sudden , 10 years have passed…
Literally passed! What? who? why? ??? Only yesterday that girl was a child ! Just a while ago I bought these clothes , hardly wered them , and now they`re out of fashion ? what? I`m not in my twenties? But I was just a while ago…How can that be? I feel like twenty ! Now I cannot aply for this job because I passed the age they require? Mom? Dad ? Why are you so tired and distant.. because I don`t live with you anymore? What Dad? You have cancer? No…Something like that i see outside,not with you…
And Suddenly your litle girl here has to take care of you like a baby…like you treated me once…Because no one can face the reality…That the day we`re living may be your last…And you`re so aware of everything…If only you just didn`t realise that you`re loosing the human condition everyday that passes by…If you just didn`t realise how dependant you became from others…
But you do…That`s Why i left everything behind , and i`m here , by your side , hugging you , treating you, LOVING YOU SO VERY MUCH LIKE I NEVER LOVED NO ONE BEFORE !
Leaving house , work , city , everything to be with you…
To fill myself with YOU , before THE TIME arrives…
Now YOU are my child…And I`ll give you all the LOVE you gave me when I was litle…And…HOW I LOVED YOU AND LOOKED UP TO YOU , AS I STILL DO EVEN AFTER YOU´RE GONE YEARS AGO…
YEARS? I held your head just a while ago , like i always did !
Sure you`re not in the house? won`t you call me later ? :))))
No , You Won`t . Neither Will mum . She`s there with you !
I Know you`re happy !I FEEL that ! So I`m happy too ! :))))
One day will be my turn…that`s how it works, but i just didn `t imagine it was this fast !
I`m glad I could spend time with you both, being with you till your departure…
THAT`S THE BEST THING I DID IN ALL MY LIFE !
THAT`S WHAT GAVE A MEANING TO MY EXISTENCE HERE!
I reorganized then my priorities in life…
And I understood SOO MANY THINGS ABOUT LIFE , DEATH , but mostly about LIVING !!!!!!

I LEARNED TO BE GRATEFULL TO BE ALIVE , TO HAVE FOOD ON THE PLATE , TO HAVE A ROOF OVER MY HEAD , TO WALLS TO PROTECT ME FROM COLD OR HEAT , ALSO FOR BEING MY SPACE WHERE I CAN LEAVE MY THINGS AND RETURN TO , GRATEFUL FOR MY HEALTHY BODY….
IN MY HEART , I REALLY AM GRATEFUL FOR ALL THESE THINGS AND MUCH ,MUCH MORE , BECAUSE I TRAVELLED FOR 12 YEARS ,IN AFRICA , AND I SAW MANY PEOPLE WITH NONE OF THESE THINGS !

ALSO CONGRATULATED MY GRANDMOTHER ON MY BIRTHDAY WITH A POSTCARD FOR HAVING BEING A GRANDMOTHER THAT DAY !
THEY WERE ALWAYS HAPPY TO RECEIVE MY GIFTS ON THAT DAY , BECAUSE IT MEANT THAT I LOVED THEM VERY MUCH…
NOW THEY `RE BOTH GONE !
I HAVE MY OWN SAYING…GIVE LOTS OF FLOWERS TO THE LIVING…THE DEAD WILL NOT APRECIATE THEM AT ALL !
DO THIS !
SO MANY PEOPLE ONLY RECEIVED FLOWERS ON THEIR FUNERALS…
GIVE ALLLLLL THE FLWERS WHILE THEY ARE ALIVE….

LOVE THE GOOD PERSONS…IS EASY !
LOVE THE NOT SO GOOD…IT `S A CHALLENGE !
OSCAR WILDE SAID ” IT `S THE IMPERFECT ONES WHO NEED LOVE , NOT THE PERFECT “