adambalm

Tonight I took my green belt test, and I passed. In the style I practice, green is the first colored belt, after three green stripes on your white belt.

I am happy to have been given the vote of confidence, but I have to say I felt horrible; I screwed up all over the place. I know I was promoted because I train hard and everthing I screwed up tonight I have done more than a few times well in the past (not a million times, just more than a few; about, I think, what you would hope a green belt could do).

But I find myself challenged to accept my limitations in a way I was not expecting. Maybe getting comfortable at the few ranks below me made me a little too casual. I thought I would be able to walk through it.

I practiced, but I did not practice enough.

Please understand, I am grateful to be one visible step closer to the goal. But the goal inside the goal is not to simply get a green belt, or a black belt, it is to attain a level of proficiency that will allow me to grow in karate.

Maybe this was a start. I think so.

But it was a deep lesson in humility. I hope I can grow into the rank I was given tonight.