addict4billionN1

It’s amazing i’m 72 days of non smoking. I can’t stand being around smoke you can smell the stink off of people 5 feet away and just knowing that i once smelled like that is horrible. It’s done i can say i have accomplished this task. I don’t want to smoke and i definately don’t need it. FINALLY! I’m never going to let my guard down but quiting is blissful. It took me countless of attempts and the best way for me was to remind myself that ” I WILL NOT SMOKE TODAY ” each day treating it like the first. It gets hard and you will get cravings and i even experiences withdrawls even going as far as dreaming of smoking just be sturn with yourself. The cigarrette is small and you are powerful. Don’t be upset if you go back just note that it’s much heathlier and brighter without that puff of smoke.

tired of trival vanity and a place where no one cares about the world we live in. i want/need to move. a very close family friend has lived in oregon for many years recently moving to sourthern california for love only speaks great things about this nature place. i really just want to live on my own but can’t afford the cost of living here in “so cal.” i want to live, be able to close my eyes and walk to trust myself enough to never open them again. i’m a writer whose never writen, a dreamer that refuses to wake up, a child playing in the rain. regardless of accomplishing this adventure or not i will succeed.

Well i’ve been walking just about every other day making it longer and longer each time i go out. . . I’m still the same weight. It’s my fault though. I know it is. I’ve been walking but making it up by eating fast food. I recently quit smoking i’m a good 18 days of non smoking and i’ve substitued the oral satisfaction of smoking with food. Thank goodness i’m still maintaining but I just don’t know what to do. I get urges i want something in my mouth. I don’t know how to eat. I starve myself (not eating for up to 4 days) and binge like a feen. You would think i was a skinny but no i’m 5’3 210lbs and all the weight is in my stomache and chest. I enjoy healthy food and i get into quorks of eating 3 square meals a day and drinking a gallon of water, but i always fail. My household has nothing but junk food and they would never listen to me to get healthier items. I just don’t know what to do my urges are to strong and the temptation is too close. Any advice? I’m going insane and i want to be freed from my heavy body.