adkpooh

Day 7. Ketostix: Small. Why is it when you are fat it is the only thing that comes to mind for others – even loved ones -when they think about you? I will never understand it. You could be the most loving, giving, supportive, intelligent, creative, hard-working and selfless person in the world…. but the first comments out of everyones mouth have to do with your weight. It is maddening. Okay… I am putting it in a bubble and blowing it away. Huff.

Day 6. Ketostix: Trace. Having less cravings suddenly. Need to find an egg replacement for breakfast. Maybe zucchini. Blaines Low Carb Kitchen has a great recipie for zucchini hash. I may make a batch of that. I find it hard to control the portions with that though.

Day 3. Low Carb Ketostix- negative. Went swimming this afternoon- not at the park but at my Dads. I had forgotten that my father opened the pool for the first time this year since Mom passed (yea, I think another factor involved in the weight gain was a little depression). Man was I right…. it was cc-cc-cold. LOL. The water was only about 65 degrees. I wasn’t able to swim long… but at least I had a little exercise cleaning the pool: dragging out hoses hooking everthing up- bumping the filter etc. I may go back tomorrow!! I do need to clean out my car and do some laundry/ house cleaning on Sunday. I also plan on going on a 3 mile walk at a local nature center- at the a$$ crack. Back to the gym before work on Monday morning. Gym consists of walking as fast as I possibly can on the treadmill for one hour. I am not doing anything else. To be brutally honest, I personally don’t think anything else puts as much of a dent into the weight loss of someone my size than cardio (as fast anyway). When I can get down under 300, I will start lifting. I know that more muscle increases your metabolism and adds definition, but, so does simply hauling a$$ when you weigh this much (to the point I am winded and sweating). Actually, fitting on, in and behind machines can be awkward and physically uncomfortable when your over 300 lbs. It is not a cop out, I spend 1 hr on treadmill and at least 30 minutes on an arc trainer…..at least 4 times a week. One of my problems is that keeping a routine is difficult when my work world falls apart. I have a job that is ridiculiously stressful- the hours can be from 7 am to 7pm. It is one of the last remaining jobs in this area. I MUST find a way to cope with what I do….. aside from eating (which was my mechanism, it seems, for quitting smoking). As much as I a hate to admit it, I must be a creature of routine. I need to schedule every part of my day or it goes to hell. The problems arise when I need to become adaptable- I find ways to slack and… ‘spoil my inner child’ for lack of a better phrase.