aeris_cloud2002

I decided to send an email to a certain someone, basically asking where we stand. I don’t expect to get an answer back, but that’s okay. I mostly sent the email to help me get a sense of closure.

So, the hardest thing about letting go…is actually letting go. Sometimes it can be a long, drawn out process, especially if it’s a one-sided thing (i.e. the other person has already let go, or was never that attached to you in the first place.)

It can also kind of suck if you still have to see that person on a semi-regular basis. All your feelings for them are there, but the relationship itself has changed in a vastly irrevocable way. In a sense, it’s like your heart is getting ripped out again and again, on a daily basis.

Sometimes you’ll feel like you’ve really made some progress. You’ve stopped thinking about the person as much, you’ve moved on, you’ve found other things to make you happy.

But then you hit a road block. An unexpectedly stressful situation, or a tough week at work, and suddenly the only thing you want is to run right back into the arms of the person that you’re trying to forget. The memory of their touch, their smell, everything, it intoxicates you.

Overwhelmed by nostalgia and regret, all you can do is pull out an old mix that they made you, and reminisce. You fall asleep listening to “your song,” the song that used to define that relationship in a nutshell. You hope that when you wake up, you can somehow forget things all over again.

Lately I’ve realized that there are some things in my life that I need to let go of: my expectations about certain relationships, the idea of what my idealized self should be, and my expectations for where I should be now in life.

Life isn’t perfect and it may sometimes be difficult, but I think that we can get through it more easily if we let go of unrealistic expectations that are holding us back or causing us stress.