Time elapsed since last hit: 1 hour
I can’t believe I smoked up again. Detox officially started three days ago. But I haven’t. What an addict.
However, I sold the rest of my supply to my half brother. Since J. is dry right now, that should help deprive me of the stuff until I’ve gone through the withdrawal symptoms.
As for the other aspects of my detox, I haven’t thought about them yet. I figured I’d attack this one first and get my head straight before I tackle the rest.
Should I pray to Jesus again? It used to help me focus. Deep down in my heart, I know for sure that there is no God. But the meditative qualities of prayer sure helped me get my act together back then. It just feels silly since I know it’s just talking to myself.
I’ve grown bored of console video games. The Gamecube is too unwieldy a device for something I’m only mildly interested in engaging in. It’s fun to play with friends, but maybe I’ll start doing some other group activity with my friends instead of playing video games. So I guess I’ll switch my gaming over to handhelds. My Gameboy is already a fine piece of work, but I’m interested in the stylus based gameplay offered by Nintendo DS. But is it worth it if I’m only going to get a few games for it? The only ones that interest me now are Electroplankton, Nintendogs, and Kirby’s Canvas Curse. Hopefully they’ll come out with more interesting ones. Still, I guess I could supplement it with regular Gameboy games. I’ll have to buy a flash cart for that.
Hell, maybe I’ll buy the flash cart first, and play games on my Gameboy while waiting for a price drop on the Nintendo DS.
But first thing’s first. I must sell my Gamecube.
I’ve to develop regular working hours. This lax one I have is blurring my leisure and work time together. It’s getting difficult to force myself to work. I must manage my time more efficiently. Nothing too strict. Allow room for flexibility.
So. To start, I’ll set aside, say, three hours every week day for working. I must spend those hours productively. Maybe first thing I’ll do after I get up. Three hours of work. That sounds reasonable. Nothing too heavy. And I can spend the rest of the day comforted that I’ve done my work for the day.
I’ll increase the hours once I climb out of this depression.