albootenhoff

she woke up at 9 and screamed for a hour. Then agian at 11:30 until 12 then at 1 to 130 and then at 2 to 230 then at 330 to 4 and then at 630 for 10 minutes and then she finally woke up at 8am. I dodged the cup a few times as she was so mad at me for giving her that instead of the bottle. She screamed for Dad, Baba, Peppa, Nana and then Mama. Honestly I was waiting for her to start screaming for Elmo she was so upset. I felt so horriable. I did hold her love on her and pat her back and play with her hair. However, it was not an easy night for either of us.

Okay I am going to suck it up starting tonight. I am going to except the fact that my Baby is going to be one on Thursday and it is time to toss the bottles. During the Day she is already on the cup. At night she takes bottles.. the plan: replace bottle with cup. Not in the crib. If she wakes up i will get up hold her and give her the cup. Tonight she was less than pleased that she didnt have a bottle so she threw the cup down then laid down and went to sleep… too easy! Two or three rolls around then we will have the hard part.

So here is the deal. I went to my old church in Austin called rockpointe. this is an amazing church focused on healing peoples hurts. It is amazing and since moving to Houston I have been unable to locate a church that even comes with in a mile of this amazing church. Well, they started this new series called 40days of love and i have to say it was so convicting that i cryed while the pastor was speaking… not something i do at church. So anyway while reflecting on the people i am supposed to let know I love regaurdless it hit me in terms of my Mother. I am not the one that has to answer for the path she has chosen in life but i am the one that has to answer for not “loving” her as she is. I have to answer to God about how i dealt with the trials her choices have placed me in. It is sad that her choices as well as mine effect so many people. The truth is that it does.