I can’t even begin to relay how heavily this goal weigh’s on my mind. I have a long history of finding wonderful, intelligent, charming men and somehow not being convinced that I am truly happy with. And another separate history of being nutty-berserk for men who are not truly happy with me. And I never know…I never know if I will be happy with the person who loves me or not. I can’t…somehow…
know.
Oct 29, 2008, 01:44PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments
I have an idea of what kind of job that I would love, but I’m in some weird way terrified. And I know why—I feel that I have to be confident about my ability to do a good job at the job that I am currently at. And I am getting better at it. Before I can move on to a new job, I want to be confident in my job-skills in general. And that is taking practice.
Bluh. This shit is not easy.
Oct 29, 2008, 01:21PM PDT | 1 cheer | 0 comments
I have this vivid picture of the “ideal healthy lifestyle” in my head that includes riding my bike to work every day and cooking dinner every night…and only eating vegetables and fruits during the daytime…at night there would be rice and/or meat or other stuffs.
The idea is to be so healthy that I never grow old, never look old or smell old or get run down and crotchety. I don’t want to get crotchety and then have to crochet. Dear God.
Oct 29, 2008, 01:13PM PDT | 0 comments