alittlegrubi

I had to have an emergency c-section – so the tummy toning is needed even more now and will have to wait until the recovery period is over, but then – watch out tummy!!!

I feared having a c-section and did everything I could to avoid it, but my affirmation wasn’t quite right as I ended up having an emergency c-section anyway. Read the story under having another baby.

I’ve had my baby – 7 days earlier than the estimated due date. The birth was not what I expected, but everything is good now.

My Birthing Story commences on the April 16th, 3 days prior to birth on April 19th in order for you to understand the circumstances of this rather traumatic experience in its entirety.

On April 16th at 9am – 38 w4d pg – I go for my weekly clinic visits at the hospital, the doctor is concerned that she can not feel the head, checks the file and notes that doctors at 35 and 37 wk appointments have baby as 1/5th engaged. He gets the ultrasound to check and finds that the baby is breech with her head up against the placenta at about 11oclock. Dr gets registrar to come in who then tells me about 4 times in 5 mins I’ll probably have to have a c-section unless they can turn the baby via an ECV.

I get booked for an ultrasound on Thursday to position the baby, an ECV on Friday to turn the baby. Only 65% of ECVs are successful, if it is not successful a c-section will be booked for the 39th week – i.e. Wednesday April 23rd, if something goes wrong in the process an emergency c-section is performed. On the Friday the doctor doing the ECV says that in 13 years he has never had to perform an emergency c-section from an ECV.
The ECV is successful and the midwife tells me to sit backwards on a chair and sleep on my right to keep the baby in position. I go home and do just that, all happy that I am going to get to have a VB. Can’t sleep much that night feeling very uncomfortable. Up from 3am sitting backward on a chair. 6.30am start to feel minor contractions, thinking that I still have a week to go push past them and think nothing of it. Go shopping and come home to have lunch and give DS afternoon nap. Go to lay down with DS for afternoon nap at 12.45pm. Too uncomfortable to lay down. 12.56pm first strong contraction happens, start to get them regularly feels like 3 to 4 minutes apart – have shower ask DH to time them. They are regular and 3-4 mins apart. After 30 minutes arrange to drop Ds at SIL’s and head for hospital.
Call hospital on the way there, tell the midwife regular contractions 3 to 4 minutes apart for last 40 mins, she tells me not to come in, I tell her I had an ECV and pamphlet says to call if you have contractions, she says okay we need to check the position of the baby and if that is okay I can go home and continue my labour there.
Get to the hospital around 2.05pm get put on CTG and ultrasound for positioning, quick internal and they move me by wheelchair into the birthing suite (remember I was told over the phone – I can go home and continue my labour there if baby is not breech.
I am forced to have an inactive labour, sitting on a bed hooked up to the CTG I can’t move to progress the labour and feeling intense back pain. The midwife is not the most caring type, in fact at one point I just wanted to tell her to “p!ss0ff”. She keeps telling me to breathe through my contractions as I am starving the baby of oxygen – “see how the heart rate goes down when you contract?”
I get to go to the toilet once and then the doctor puts in the drip for the antibiotics due to the fact that I was GBS positive. The midwife goes to get something, can’t find it, needs another midwife to read the labels on some drugs she is giving me at one point – blind bat. Suggests that I try to lie on my left side as I am feeling intense pressure and back pain with my contractions. The one contraction I have on my left is too painful and I am in tears – she thinks I am trying to push. The doctor is not happy with the CTG results of the foetal heart rate dropping with each contraction, they decide that they should rupture my membranes to speed up the process as I am likely to have this baby as soon as my waters break. The doctor goes to do so and feels the cord is presenting, she then has the midwife check it and she agrees. Another midwife comes in to keep an eye on the CTG and they then call in a consultant and another doctor. The first doctor tells me that the cord is behind the head and that I am not going to be able to continue with this delivery, they are going to have to give me some drug to stop the contractions and I will need a c-section. I am rather upset by this – again the bag midwife tells me to relax and breathe as I am distressing the baby – you try stopping the crying and breather when you get told you have to have a c-section – something I really do not want.
The other doctor also checks and tells me that the cord is behind the head and is compressing with my contractions, I will need to have an emergency c-section in order to have this baby – she needs me to sign a consent form. I look to DH who is getting asked to sign a consent for me to have an epidural – I say I don’t want an epidural and the other doctor has a consent for an emergency c-section in my face on the other side of the bed – expecting me to read it through tears and me crying I don’t want one. In the end I sign under duress. Whilst this is happening the bag midwife is shaving me and I just want to stab her as she is not being gentle at all. So I guess I was having a c-section consent or not.
By 4pm they are racing me out of the birthing suite up to the theatre. 4.06pm I say goodbye to DH as he is not allowed into the theatre as I have elected to have the general anaesthetic.
They can not sit me up for the anaesthetic due to the doctor having to keep the head from coming any further down the cervix, so they suggest rolling me on my side for it. The midwife says that she tried me on both sides and totally lost the foetal heart rate – only she never put me on my right. They roll me to the right and put a needle in my spine, which I later found out was a one-shot spinal block and not the general anaesthetic I had asked for. As they move me back into position the anaesthetist tells me I will feel some tugging and pulling. I feel them rubbing solution on my tummy and it tickles at this point. Then my waters break and they are green from the meconium. The situation is now more urgent, the doctor cuts and 3 minutes from incision to birth. The baby cries and I forget all about how I didn’t want any of the things I got in my birthing experience. After the paediatrician checks the baby she is put on my chest for while they cauterised and sewed me up.

Got a new boss and things have improved.

We are at 38 weeks and 2 days – only 12 days until we hit our due date – hoping to have this one marked off by the end of the month

My husband from inviting his freeloading friends around for BBQs.

after my dalring husband arranges for people to come to our house for a BBQ I disappear with out eating and only surface again 3 hours later to clean up. I did this to avoid the confrontation as I was so annoyed at the vultures – before my husband and I could have sat at the table the entire green salad was gone and looking at the left overs there was one piece of steak left – and only one couple contributed to the meat, the rest came out of our fridge. So about seven pieces of steak, a dozen pieces of chicken and a dozen sausages were eaten by five men and 3 women. There was probably enough coleslaw and potato salad left that I could have had with the meazly piece of steak and half a dozen slices of barbequed pineapple that was left.
Of course the fact that I am 26 weeks pregnant and can not drink whilst they all are didn’t help either, nor did the 2 year old son causing issues with one guest’s 4 year old daughter and him constantly getting dirty in the garden beds.
I should also mention that of the seven guests none are married and only one has a child – so I think it is difficult for me to improve my social life with that group of my husband’s friends.
Well, they continue to party and I’m off to bed now.

I was becoming more tolerant and then tonight I feel that I went at least half a step backward. It was not completely backward as I did not express my lack of tolerance vocally – but my actions could be open to interpretation and therefore no one really knows why I have left the party.

I’m afraid that I will go on 8 months maternity leave in two months time and that because they are not backfilling my position I will not have a job to come back to – then how will I be able to love my job if it does not exist.

1.When we refinance our mortgage get a mortgagae offset account
2.Put extra away into a trust fund for the kids instead of having that slush fund to spend from

I’m still lost – still finding that the main reason for my lack of identity is my lack of content in my life. Today I described it in my journal as all I have is family and that seems like nothing. I have no activities other than the computer that occupay my time besides those that seem essential to existing. I work, I sleep, I look after the kids, I do the daily chores when I can find the enthusiasm, but I have no me activities. I just want to hide away from the world and not interact with anyone at the moment. I seem to be unhappily making a martyr of my life by isolating myself.

has dwindled as I am now 26weeks pregnant – see what having an affair can do to you – be careful LOL!!!

if I told you what I did yesterday. All I will impart is that I finally felt the fear and did it anyway. Of course I am now living with the worry and repercussions of that action. In doing as I have done I have allowed two other people to also feel the fear and do it anyway. Whilst the effect for me has not been all that positive. I know that for those that I have given this opportunity to I will generate great happiness and that should in and of itself make me happier. If only I could convince myself that there will not be any fallout in the longterm as a consequence of feeling the fear and doing it anyway.
I keep reminding myself that love is letting go of fear, if this is true then my actions are love in it’s highest form – here is to hoping the love is reciprocated.

I’m still unhappy and the worst part is that when I read my journal that commenced about 5 years ago the recurrent themes are still there. I so need to find a way to get past whatever it is that I have generated to block my happiness

We are at week 26 now and the indigestion is commencing – joyous. I am also experiencing soreness that I don’t remember having last time – I’m assuming it is all the loosening of the pelvic region. I have no energy or desire and look forward to the end of this pregnancy.

I can’t help but think of Grumpy Old Woman when it comes to Christmas presents as you sit there looking at the gifts you are given thinking who can I give this to. I had decluttered a shelf in the linen cupboard by using last years unwanted presents for regifting only to fill the empty space with new items post Christmas.

Ignorance is bliss – only 16 more to go.

I unpacked all the baby clothes and washed them all again, sorted them so that I had ones to keep and ones to sell and ones to give away. Tried listing some on ebay – but it is the wrong time of the year for that. So I have 3 nappy boxes stuffed full of clothes to sell whilst on maternity leave.
I rearranged the nursery and have everything ready for our new arrival.
Time to check the regifting cupboard for xmas presents for the needy and work or daycare people.

I’ve had the genetics test results and another scan and everything is going really well. We are to expect the arrival of a healthy baby girl at the end of April.

Until after the baby is born.