alonerarebel

Most of my life I’ve been so embarrassed by my shyness and I always get angry with myself when someone is talking to me and I don’t say much. But I’ve been shy most of my life. And there are a lot of people out there like me. Not everyone is meant to be a sociable and outgoing person. I’m trying to embrace it because I will always be this way.

My mom has gone through so much this past year. Cancer. Divorce. And death of a friend. I’m also grieving the loss of our friend and I’m overcoming depression in many things in my life. But I feel that I could become a better daughter. I’ve been spending more time with my mom, I want to do more.

When I talk to someone, even a friend I always feel awkward. It’s not that person that’s making me awkward. I’m always afraid of how I come off to people and I focus way too much on what I’m doing. I try so hard not to be awkward and I end up looking more awkward.