aluvme4me

This is a work in progress but I am saying this is done because I have learned “how to” be less anxious. First, find out what makes you anxious. Then figure out strategies to combat it. For instance, I like to watch true crime shows…but they make me anxious if I watch too many. But if I watch 1 or 2 I am okay. So now I limit it. Another thing that makes me anxious is driving in winter. What did I do? I got snow tires, NOT all seasons, SNOW, and brand new brakes. I drive slow and don’t go out unless I have to if it is bad. I also have found a wonderful mechanic who works with me (another anxiety). So you’ll never not have anxiety, but you can work on making it less or at least controlled.

After dealing with depression for about 4 years (diagnosed) I am feeling like the cloud has lifted! I am not on any medication, I took myself off of mine (I am not recommending this AT ALL) because I knew I wasn’t chronically depressed and wanted to try this on my own. I went through 3 years of therapy. I learned strategies for dealing with depression, how to better handle stress, what MAKES me happy (very important), how to handle my PTSD symptons, and how to handle my anxiety. I also learned that some bad feelings are just moods that will pass, and to trust they will pass. I have learned to avoid things that bring on these symptoms (aka don’t watch a whole marathon of “Forensic Files and incite the PTSD symtoms even though you really, really want to watch it).
I have also been heaping on positivity in my life. I have joined an online women’s group that I LOVE, I have been making sure I get outside, I stay away from negative people as much as possible and if I have to be around them I do not engage. I watch positive things, read positive books, and in general be happy! I kind of feel like all of the good things that I had going for me when I broke down 4 years ago are still here but better and the bad stuff has been weeded out. Whew!
Don’t get me wrong, bad things still happen. I am just reacting to them differently now and when they do happen I grab all of my tools (the whole gosh darn arsenal) and do my best to keep it together. So far so good! Sometimes I feel like things are too good to be true but I try to push that though away because it only sends that message out to the universe. And that feeling of any moment it can be over, it creeps on my but I do my best to enjoy NOW!
This may sound sickening, almost Pollyanna…but it is something I have worked really hard for and I am happy and proud to be at this place.
As a caveat to all of this I want to say that I don’t advocate going off of prescribed medication without a doctor’s help. I also don’t want to make light of depression. For me it was something I could overcome but I know for some it is something that needs medication and lifelong work. I am willing to help anyone with this if they want it. I am a good listener (and reader/writer).

Last night I finished my very first crocheted blanket! It was a baby blanket for my cousin’s daughter. It came out so beautiful…not bad for my first try. I have now been commissioned to make a couple more by some friends :) Next project is a counted cross-stitch but that I’ve done before!

(The baby in this picture is not the baby, or the blanket. But she’s cute isn’t she?)