amandakatherina

I have two paths in life i’m following, one my heart wants and my back up my mother wants. ugh.

i swear less than i did, i mean, i still have a slip up everynow and then, but it’s not every other word like it used to be. :o)

Well I sit inside my house, inside my room, inside my head,
And the TV’s sayin’ somethin’ but I never notice what it says,
‘Cause I’m drifting through a dream, it seems the witch doctor’s stole the bed,
And he’s painting a newborn baby’s face while we play the reds.

And look at Don Quixote, pistol and a piano on his spread.
And the sky lights growin’ vines, but this time the God, it’s never dead
So the headlines read “coffins coming home”, you know they sent U.S. Fed Ex.
And, man, these visions bloom inside my room, inside my head

So come, step on inside
If you’re up for the ride,
Cause your sight has grown old and gray,
They all the follow the leader,
While she was leading,
And they never knew the way

And never judge a book by its cover,
And you don’t believe everything you’ve read
Well, that’s too, too many rules to fool the new independent heads,
They’re too busy reading this month’s magazine,
to know what to do and what to say
And, man, these vivid dreams aren’t all I see inside my head

So come, step on inside
If you’re up for the ride,
Cause your sight has grown old and gray,
They all the follow the leader,
While she was leading,
And they never knew the way

So, man, I leave that ladyfinger on the burner while you’re there
Cause I’m sitting at the table, under the hail of this candle chandelier.
Man, all our friends are floatin’, there’s no ladders over here
And the lunar eclipse turn ‘round and flip, but gravity’s the least of my fears.

This is a wonderful movie, and if you have not yet seen it, you can watch it at this website;

http://www.watch-movies.net/movies/garden_state/

It is a very inspiring movie. i absolutely love it. :o)

i’m so confused.

i’ve finally done it.

shew, it seems like it just rolls out of my mouth, and sometimes i don’t even notice i swear.

30; jonas brothers videos on youtube
31; dying my hair
32; experimenting with makeup
33; being sneaky ;o)
34; when charlie isn’t mad at me and me and him are on good terms
35; singing
36; making graffiti
37; talking in any accent
38; recieving and giving cheers
39; dancing
40; white roses
41; sleeping allday
42; walking the trail
43; random trips to walmart at 3 am
44; making videos
45; getting phone calls
46; compliments
47; staying up until 7 am the next morning
48; the right liquid eyeliner
49; the right mascara
50; long car rides
51; being a girl
52; my religon
53; smiling strangers
54; dresses
55; the right shoes
56; finger nail polish
57; not having a job somedays
58; having a job somedays lol
59; my dog
60; my grandmother
61; my aunts
62; my mom
63; my dads
64; my nana
65; thinking about every person that has touched my life in someway, shape, or form.
66; harry potter
67; facebook
68; myspace
69; 43 things
70; mirrors
71; massages
72; i-hop
73; playing video games
74; french vanillia cappiccino
75; strawberries and creme frappiccino
76; colorful headbands
77; $5 subs from subway :o)
78; abercrombie boys
79; cremesicles – you know the orange popsicle with the white good stuff lol.
80; fudgesicles
81; colorful sharpies
82; zodiac
83; jimi hendrix songs
84; the beatles songs
85; the 60’s
86; a good cry; not the hurt of the cry, but the relief afterwards
87; lighting and thunderstorms.
88; yellowbot ! lol.
89; cute little kittens
90; transformers
91; hello kitty
92; malibu coconut rum chocolates
93; watching the sunrise and sunset
94; asian cuisine
95; when charlie used to call me baby
96; extra large cherry limenades from sonic.
97; iced coffee from burger king.
98; grecian stuff
99; french stuff
100; the good life. :o)

28. spending time with jordan and eric
29. calling eric a bitch ass ner.

1. chocolate
2. jordan
3. techno
4. long naps
5. quiet
6. relaxing on the beach
7. a good tan
8. puppies
9. babies
10. a good hair day
11. working out
12. sticking to my diet
13. sushi
14. big pig
15. fashion
16. shopping
17. running around the house with just undergarments on
18. being home alone
19. the thought of completing college
20. drawing
21. inspiring others
22. writing
23. swimming
24. good deals
25. driving
26. charlie
27. long showers

my bestfriend jordan is always there for me, as am i for her! we have been friends for over a decade and i wouldn’t have it any other way. if i need someone i just have to call her, and she knows if she needs someone to talk to she can always talk to me. i will never judge her, i love her so much! she is practically my sister.

i don’t want sex. i want love. love beyond anything. beyond physical, beyond emotional. i can’t explain it; but i know i what i want. i don’t want sex; i’m saving myself for this experience.

my mother was pregnant with me when she was 16 years old, and my father was 17. he left before i was born because he was afraid. i can understand, because he was so young, who wouldn’t be afraid? I never knew that my father had left me. my mother never informed me until I was around 6 or 7 years old. earlier this year, a few days after my 16th birthday, my father’s mother died, my real grandmother, biologically speaking. i attended her funeral, and i met my whole family, including my biological father. i was so nervous, afraid, i had so many mixed emotions. i didn’t know whether to be furious or happy. i was crying and so was he. i forgave him, and we talk all the time now. today is actually his birthday, and he is 34 years old today. he has diabetes really bad, so bad to the point that they said he probably won’t make it past age 40. it kills me of how much time me and him have lost. i just want to cry, but me and him are trying to make up for lost time. even though he left me in the past, it doesn’t change the fact that he is my father and i love him just the same and he loves me.

i feel so free. no one else to please.

i’ve always loved the french language, and i’ve been learning it for over a year ! hopefully, i can master it. :o) i’m being pretty paitent, and it’s coming along very well.

for so long, i had been worrying about how my decisions would affect other people. i worried more about others than i did myself. one day, i stopped and realized, it’s my life, i don’t need to live it for others. i need to do what makes me happy, not others. i have lived happier ever since then. :o)