We don’t normally have people over to our house because we’re a little ways out of town, but our roommate surprised me and brought two of his coworkers over completely unannounced today. It’s his house too and he can bring over whoever he wants, but I totally freaked. There I was looking like a bum in my sweats with wild hair and no makeup. Luckily they just went into his room for a bit and then left. But I was so embarrassed and cried like an idiot after they left.
Why should I care what they think, especially since I rarely see them and we’ll be moving in a few months and I’ll never see them again? I still get anxious around our roommate, even though we’ve lived with him for nine months now. His mood is just so hot and cold sometimes, and I never know what it’s going to be. I’m always worried that he’s judging me too, which is aggravating.
Endometriosis affects approximately 10-15% of the female population worldwide yet is one of the most widely unheard of diseases. Had I known that my pain wasn’t normal and that there was an actual reason for it, I would have sought help long ago and could possibly have been spared years of suffering through it.
Please help to spread the word about endometriosis this and every month!
It got to me again this weekend when we were out of town. We drove past a restaurant we wanted to eat at and started looking for a parking spot. I could see through the windows that the restaurant was packed, plus there were people standing outside waiting for seats. Inside I started freaking out. I tried not to show it because my in-laws were with us. My husband said “Don’t worry, I’m here”, and I so appreciated it, but the fact he’s there doesn’t make a difference sometimes.
We ended up standing outside for half an hour before we went inside to eat. I was paranoid the entire time, inside and out, and walking through that crowd was almost all I could take. I couldn’t relax the whole time we were eating. I kept looking around trying to see if anyone was watching us. Of course everyone looked like they were silently judging, but I’m sure it was all in my head.
When am I going to get over this?