amethystbadger

Things are a bit hard right now, but I’ve got a job and I like it. The hours are good, I’m making money, and I like the people there. Problem is, between classes in the day and work at night, I never get to relax. Oh well. I’ll get the hang of it yet. ^^

Put in an application the other day. It’s where my RA’s boyfriend works. He doesn’t even know me and he was willing to put his name on the application as a reference! What’s more (it’s at a pizza place) I’ve got my ServSafe certification on there, so it’s helped me a lot. Only managers are required to have one and I’m applying to roll dough. I should hear from them soon, if everything goes well. ^_

I’ve found myself again. It’s an interesting feeling, to have all the things you stopped caring about mean something again. For the longest time everything has been gray, but I’m starting to see color and life. I can cry again. Strange sounding, I know, but it feels good. I can laugh without feeling like crying. I can enjoy things without the fear I’ll come crashing down. I still think depressing things when I have nothing better to do, but it doesn’t feel hopeless anymore. I’m actually trying to make things better. For the first time, in a long time, I feel hopeful. Things will get better…

Please…please don’t let this be temporary…I don’t think I could take another backslide….