amyrachelle

anyone wanting to talk about learning to trust their spouse jus lemme know…i need all the support i can get.
its so hard after a spouse has been unfaithful.

after reading and researching what can happen with an epidural i have decided to opt out on it this time.
with my first baby i had just turned 18 and really didnt know anything about what negative effects an epidural could have, i was young and naive…luckily though the only negative effect it had on me was to help slow my labor(which was already 39 hours).
after reading up on having a natural childbirth i’ve decided that it will be best in helping me recover fast and hopefully deliver faster(anything will seem faster then 39 hours)
i am nervous about doing it but think it will help boost my confidence and help me to find inner strength i’m not aware i have.

i’m terrified to leave my house.
it has become very pathetic and made me crippled in a sense.
i’m so used to being at home where i feel safe that when i need to go somewhere i panic and do everything in my power to stay home.
it has effected my relationships, my ability to get anything done and almost every aspect of who i am seems to be controlled by my fears. driving anywhere makes me go into a full blown panic attack.
i hate living like this.i try self talk alot and try to reassure myself there’s nothing to fear but the idea of even recognizing that i’m afraid only throws me into panic because i’m afraid of being afraid too…i know it sounds so dumb.
i would very much appreciate some helpful input on what i can do…and what has helped others.