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Centenarians all differ widely, but among some of their commonalities is a propensity for not skipping an early breakfast. This makes sense; most centenarians are also much more likely to be lean than the average oldster (the men are almost invariably very lean, whereas the women are merely rarely obese, because they can get away with carrying more fat before their cardiovascular system is affected). Contrast this characteristic to studies that show people who skip breakfast are much more likely to be obese. The long-lived are minimizing fat stores and all the damage resulting from those metabolic side effects.

I think it’s going to be increasingly important to have more forms of ID in the future. Plus, I would like to have access to one in case of a disaster scenario. Now if only I could figure out where to expatriate….

1. You cannot, CANNOT have anime as a personal interest.

2. You have to be as baffled as I am about the enormous success of the perpetually fucktarded, unfunny Dane Cook.

3. You cannot be “Wiccan.”

4. You cannot belong to any other religion that literally believes in fairytales, like Creationism, or that one about how men are the default human being while women are the cause of all evil in the world, even though all evidence points in the other direction. Retards.

5. You cannot be a smoker or have substance abuse problems. Sorry potheads, as much as you don’t want to admit it, this means you.

6. You have to not be so emotionally stunted and lacking in mature values that you hold this materialist, consumerist, anti-intellectual culture near and dear to your heart.

7. You cannot superimpose your dysfunctional family dynamics onto our relationship. Oh yeah, that’s another one: just don’t be dysfunctional, period.

8. You have to have a good sense of humor, which means basically not liking Dane Cook.

9. You have to be free of all sexist beliefs, including the insidiously socialized forms sexism. Sexism has to make you ANGRY. Don’t be racist or homophobic, either.

10. You shouldn’t watch much TV, if at all. You should recognize that the MSM is made by and for fucktards, and viewing it for longer than 10 seconds should make you roll your eyes, snarky, or just pissed off in general.

11. You cannot have an “online dating profile”—this goes for potential same-sex friends, too.

12. MySpace cannot be “your life,” if you use it at all.

13. Hipsters should make you angry, even though you yourself are drawn to indie aesthetics rather than the crappy generic ones that predominate the mainstream culture.

14. You should enjoy reading for pleasure, and often.

15. You absolutely, ABSOLUTELY CANNOT have a fucking LIVEJOURNAL!

16. You should care about your health, and be somewhat into living health-consciously. You don’t have to be doing triathlons or anything like that.

17. You cannot be phony, interested in gossip, or interpersonally dramatic/adolescent in any way, shape or form.

18. You cannot give a shit about all those fucktarded celebrities, and you should especially resent the constant media assault that features their mildly retarded, dysfunctional asses.

19. You should be creative.

20. You should be non-judgemental with your friends, except initially, when being discerning about who is “on your wavelength,” of course.

21. You have to also wonder why everyone else in our demographic so adores that sophomoric piece of shit by that loser Zach Braff, “Garden State.”

22. You cannot have voted for Dubya.

23. You cannot think being a douchebag sports nut and wearing high heels are secondary sex characteristics.

24. You should be an environmentalist who is conscious of reducing pollution, waste, and unsustainable, destructive practices.

Basically, just have an IQ above 145, bare minimum, and don’t have shitty taste in everything. And, as bitter as this entry probably sounds due to structuring the sentences in the negative, please: be positive! Smileyface