angelus1753

Can’t write details about this one…but this will go a certain length towards their peace of mind.

This one is for grandpa mostly. He is almost always in bed and that’s not a good thing. They have a relaxing chair made of metal that i think one of their sons got him like ages ago but it is not very strong and topples over when he puts weight on it to get up. So i sent him a wooden one that i had which has a cushioned back and seat and is sturdy enough to hold his weight. A carpenter is gonna come along and strengthen the chair a bit more, polish it a bit and all that and then its theirs to use.

I am just gonna paste an edited portion of my journal here…i don’t expect many to understand it, but these words came from the bottom of my heart and soul, and there is just no substitute for them. So, here goes:

07/15/0903:17:42 AM

I remember these lines from Watchmen. Rorschach says them: ‘See, doctor, God didn’t kill that little girl. Fate didn’t butcher her and destiny didn’t feed her to those dogs. If God saw what any of us did that night, he didn’t seem to mind.’ … ‘From then on, i knew: God doesn’t make the world this way. We do.’ … ‘Whatever was left of Walter Kovacs died that night with that little girl. From then on, there was only Rorschach.’

I remember these lines and I am reminded of my mother’s mother. Person of God. Married when she was only 18. Arranged marriage. Since then, she has spent her whole life in service of her family. The ideal housewife. Always by her husband’s side. When her father-in-law died, he gave custody of his most beloved possession, his ‘puja’, to her. And she sincerely took care of her Gods till her body allowed her to. And her sons allowed her to. Her eldest took away, by force and claiming it was his birth right, half the religious books and idols that were close to her. He betrayed her trust. He played on her love for her God. And so did the younger one. What a ghastly temple did he get made for the beloved possession of his own grandfather, passed trustingly and for care-taking to his mother, and to be his one day!

The thing that bugs me most is that they use her as a weapon for their family politics. They have a free rein with her. Her simplicity is her curse. Her lack of politics is her bane. Her sincerity and trust are her crime, and the sight of her own blood spewing venom on each other in front of her is her punishment for having virtues that are considered noble, selfless and … good! They push her to take a side. How can she take sides? They were all born of her – her own blood and milk flows through all their veins. If God sees what she is having to endure as she lives out her final years, he doesn’t seem to mind!

The religion that she, and her sons (for the sake of argument) believe in, dictates clearly that service to one’s parent’s supersedes service to God himself. Her faker sons offer a meal to their deceased forefathers during the ‘Shraadh’ in order to pacify their spirits and receive their blessings. And these same fakers play politics over a one-time meal for their living parents, to the extent that they stop providing it altogether! Why? A stupid attempt at political leverage!

Food – the importance of donating food, water and clothing to the needy cannot be stressed enough in their religion. And these fakers can’t even provide food to their own living parents – not without conditions. After she is gone, these fakers will offer ‘Shraadh’ to the spirit of their deceased mother for the betterment of their own lives, as is the custom. Hypocrites!

Seeing what is happening to someone as pure as her, I am not surprised I must have remembered her and cried when I heard Rorschach say those words. If God sees what any of us do in his name, he doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe He ought to, for her. She deserves better. Its not a good thing to feel when you find out that the people you entrusted to build an oasis for you to live out your days in peace, instead give you a mirage. It affects the soul!