aporiatic

Not because i’m religious. I just feel that it would be good for me to immerse myself in a community of folks dedicated to self-discipline and spiritual growth.

I used to do this sometimes on my frantic drives to school. I was even more precariously balanced then, and I was studying phenomenology. I believe that the primal scream fills space till it bursts and that it reaches the resonance frequency of the fabric of time. Time becomes twisted till it is shorn of the pretension of progress and stands still; time does not cease, but neither is it in motion to or from anywhere; it is The Pulsation and there is nothing else besides.

Most recently: atop a mountain overlooking Boulder. I was with friends of weaker heart, and our screams sounded small, merely exaggerating the vastness of everything else.

I haven’t dreamt of her for several consecutive days now. A few moments every day I find myself on the precipice of desperate longing, but I have managed to draw back before I plummet.