Boat horns and train whistles. Dahlias bigger than my head. Glass rooms sitting high up in the trees looking out over the water. Catwalks through the forest and hidden treehouses. My daydream places. Cracks in the clouds to let orange sunset strips fall on the sound. Stopping on pick blackberries Stopping to be still and just look. The new portishead.
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Early one in the night I was wandering through a big hoppin club as a prostitute. Different stories and different rooms, one leading to the next like a labyrinth. Like some of the clubs I went to in Madrid. I slept with my pimp, whom I felt vaguely in love with, and then was sent out to work. But I didn’t want to be with anyone else. So I had to stage affairs. Make it look like I had gone into the bathroom with a strange man, or disappear into a dark corner. Then I would use my own money to make good at the end of the night. I was sneaking around getting change at the bars so I would have small bills to make it seem realistic. It left me wondering… if I have my own money, why am I selling myself for small bills in the first place?
Later, I was in a giant Olympic-size stadium and my brother was in some kind of a super-steep hill ice skating race. We were packed in like sardines and the athletes would fly down the hill through the crowd, most of them tripping up and taking a few bystanders down with them in a growing snowball. My brother was really good and almost won. My family was there, lots of other familiar faces from high school. We were all getting wasted.
The rest are lost in a blur.
Night before last I dreampt I was snow-shoeing to a remote cabin with a strange exotic woman. It was all a big secret. We were up to something and the air was thick with the thrill of risk and danger. It all happened in super hi-vividness. The way the molecules squeezed together and the color of the snow changed as it crunched down below the area distributing the weight of my foot.
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Already some new growth on one of my new succulents. And I am finally feeling more productive. Got some good work in and then indulged in another long meandering walk exploring the neighborhood with no particular destination. Peeking into some spectacular gardens. Getting a little lost and enjoying the puzzle of placing myself in the slow expanding web of my mental map. More cooking. The end of a great short novel and a much anticipated new book await. I am really loving my current, though temporary, lifestyle and the setting of my own pace it affords. Grateful. Some of my loved ones are struggling right now and I will be keeping them in my prayers and close to my heart.
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