Angie

I think one big thing I’ve done wrong about decisions in my life is to rush them. I have failed to realize that it’s ok not to make a decision on something. Instead of saying (to myself or others), “I have decided not to do such and such,” I can say, “I’m putting that on hold for now; this isn’t the right time.” That way there is not so much pressure. Everything isn’t set in stone, and I haven’t seen that before. Also, I don’t need to decide I’m going to do something in particular. I can “explore” it or learn about it. That has been a big problem for me. I feel like I always need to know what I’m going to do so I try to make firm decisions as soon as possible. Like, for example, thinking of what direction to take my law practice – I have felt like I needed to decide which direction to go so that I could put all the time into it. Instead, I should think of the area that interests me the most and has potential to make my practice grow, and just decide to learn more about it and explore it and take a few clients in it and see how I like it. How can I say (as I’ve tried to do) “this is the field I want to practice in for the rest of my life,” without actually trying it and seeing how I like it and how it works with my business? That’s what I need to do. Just say, “I am going to learn about this field” instead of “I’m going to become an expert in this field and devot my practice to it for the rest of my life.” That is a bad way to make decisions.

I realize that writing a novel is kind of a frivolous goal when I really want to make a difference in the world. My job as a lawyer has the potential to make a difference in people’s lives, so the idea of writing a novel just is not important. If I enjoy it, I can do it sometimes in my spare time, but I should not be making it a priority, and I don’t want to anymore. There are other so much more important things I could be spending my time on, like spending time with my kids and learning things to be a better lawyer.

By trying to plan out my future and determine exactly what path will lead to happiness, I am wasting the present. I could have called this goal “Live More in the Present” too. Not that I shouldn’t think about the future, or that a person should just live for the moment; I think that is the oppositie extreme, where people are just kind of flailing around aimlessly. But I spend way too much time trying to plan out the future and make sure I get it just right. I spend too much time worrying that if I make the wrong decision I will be miserable. I need to accept that I am where I am going to be for at least the next several years, and it’s time to start living and making every day count right now rather than in some future where I can live in the perfect place or have the perfect job. The job I have now has the capacity to change the world – not by doing some huge thing, but by helping individual people, making their lives better, which often makes others happier and better people, which influences the lives of those around them exponentially. I have the capacity to do this now and yet I spend huge chunks of time trying to decide on what career path to follow 6 years from now, and where to live 6 years from now. How about I live life to the fullest right now, enjoy everything and make a difference right now and think about what to do in the future when it comes? :)