So I was good for awhile – as it always seem to go – the kids look into your eyes and they know of youve been drinking or not…..
When you free of the fog – you remember how alive your brain can be – then your so smart – you can just have a couple of drinks fishing – making an excuse to go to the dock to get some stuff – a pint of vodka – you blame the rocking of the boat for how your stumbling around – guess what – the boat ride ends and your three hours from home….
you do what any good drunk would do – “hey I am alright to drive”...
you make it home – and realize your an idiot – by the grace of god….lord help me – keep trying everyone.
pray for us all…
for posting. i guess when your kids tell you your drunk and to go to bed – you have had enough. i cannot – do not – drink any where near or like anyone i know….when i start there is no finish…other than…DONE.
what a waste of time…brian states it nicely, i am the one who needs to figure it out….i mean be done.
please lord help me to be done. i cannot ask for help, in the normal conventions of the world….
I am not sure what i was thinking. I know I am starting over, not ready to post quite just yet, just know there is no “one” drink. I am bitter and angry at myself for letting myself do something i know felt wrong and – -
In the end i know i want to stop drinking and that best for everyone – and for a moment i gave in to “having a little fun” which turned into…SHIT.
Worse part is – trying to rationalize with myself (and the insane person I become)....
stay strong – back here with you….feeling much better – but ashamed at myself -