today I went to Vihara Buddha Prabha. this is my very first time going to the vihara. when I went there, people were preparing for the ceremony of Katina Dana. it was an hour before the ceremony. I asked some ones about starting to learn Buddhism. honestly, I was very nervous, and I was confused about what to do then.
I got to know some people around my age who are active in the vihara. they are friendly and very welcome. but it was difficult to answer when they asked me what made me interested to Buddhism and start learning about it. my turning point of the change of my faith is pure humanity when it’s related to some concepts in my previous religion. I have my reasons, I just don’t know how to explain it well. well I’m always bad at explaining my reasons.
so then, finally I participated the ceremony. I don’t know what’s up with my whole body, but I couldn’t hold my tears from falling when one of the bikkhus started to give a lecture before the offering. I had a difficult time holding my cry so I can do the chanting properly after the lecture. it happened again, the moment when I can’t understand even my own feeling. I don’t understand entirely about what’s going on inside my heart, that made me cried then. it’s like that something has touched the deepest part of my inner world. or something. I just don’t understand.
after the ceremony, people greeted each other and talked for a while. I got to know a few more people around my age. some of them are from my campus. they are registered in the official buddhist community in my campus. too bad I’m seriously bad at remembering names. I hope I can meet them again and I can remember their names next time.
tomorrow there will be a kind of dharma lecture that is held every sunday morning in that vihara. I’m planning to come, I hope I can manage my difficulty at waking up at certain time this time [laughs].
today was impressive. now I have to rest so I can get up early tomorrow :)