badhabitbrota

Until recently, I’ve lived on the east coast my whole life. I have family in Boston, Providence, NYC, and practically lived in Toronto for a couple years. Where I grew up was kind of a small town in the middle of nowhere. I’ve always been ambivalent with the whole city-person/country-person deal.

I mean, I don’t see myself living in the country, mainly because it’s so isolated. While it’s great for having parties (nobody around to call the cops), for day-to-day living, it’s pretty dull.

On the other hand, the city is a pain in the ass. Other than Toronto, I hate trying to get around a city. I won’t even drive through Boston (though I go when someone else is driving). NYC is a nightmare if you have your own car. Even Providence is a pain. Toronto wasn’t bad, though, and if I were to live in any city that I’ve been to, Toronto would be it.

As for Chicago, I recently moved and now live only an hour and a half from the city. I figure that since I’m so close, why not check it out. Of course, I have no idea what I would do when I got there, as I know nothing about the city. The only thing I’ve found so far that has me interested is The Windy City Rollers, a roller derby league in Chicago.

This isn’t to say that there’s nothing interesting in Chicago. I haven’t seen much that interests me only because I don’t even know where to look. I’m hoping that once I meet a few more people in the area, I’ll hear about something worth checking out.

I figured, why not?

Where I grew up, there were more opportunities for getting pregnant (or getting someone else pregnant, for us guys) in high school, selling drugs, or making a career out of petty theft than doing anything worthwhile. I’m not saying that I was above all that, but I did want more then a half dozen kids from a half dozen women, a fistfull of smack money, and a pile of stolen car steroes.

So I went to college, which surprised the hell out of my teachers. Some of them weren’t even sure that I’d get out of high school. Not only that, but after the first year, I managed to get some scholarships and grants (which were pretty handy as I was paying my own way through college).

By the time I finished my B.A., I had also been working for a social service agency in my hometown. My job involved helping kids like me do something with their lives other then being teenage parents, drug dealers, and/or petty criminals. I could have made a career out of it, but I decided to go for my Master’s.

There were some who said that I didn’t have the mentality for it. Apparently, I wasn’t enough of a pill to hack it in grad school. Well, I showed them. Not only was I one of the youngest in my department (only one other younger). I also finished my Master’s in record time for the department (less than 2 years).

And then I took a break. I picked up odd teaching jobs at small universities, community colleges, and even middle/high schools. After a few years of that, I decided that I’d top it all off with a Ph.D.

Last month, I moved around 850 miles from the place I called home most of my life. I will be attending a research-oriented university where I intend to finish my Ph.D. in three years, tops.

Right now, I am four days from my orientation for my Ph.D. program. I’ve already started on some research, just to try and get ahead of the game. I hope to have something publishable by xmas, but we’ll see.

For the first time in my life, I’m actually a bit anxious. Maybe it’s because there’s nobody telling me that I can’t do it. You might think that would make me feel better, but doubt has always been a great motivation for me in the past.

Like the tattoo, I’ve waited 10 years for this, but for different reasons. I’ve never wanted to do my ears, but I always liked how lip and brow piercings looked. I never could do it because, even at 16, I had jobs that I needed to keep and would have got fired if I was pierced.

Every time I left a job, I would try to get one in a place that would be more open to how one chooses to present him/herself. However, it just never worked out.

Even now, I’m working in a place where having piercings could make things difficult for someone like me. But I’m tired of waiting. As it stands, it could be another 10 years before I’m in a position where I can get away with what I want.

So now, I’m thinking that instead of waiting, I’ll just get a piercing where it can’t be seen. That pretty much leaves me with nipples and nads, and I’m not piercing the nads. I’m still debating over the nipple thing. IMO, the face is one thing, but the nipples are a whole other league.

I have until October, at least, to think about it. At this point, I’m kinda leaning towards going for it.

Oh, and I know that nipple piercings can kinda been seen through thin enough shirts. On the other hand, I really doubt I’ll have a colleague come up to me and flat out ask if my nipples are pierced.